- Big Pete Wrigley: [voiceover] Behold the glory of the varsity letter. It's only a six inch piece of low pile carpet, but once you attach it to a varsity jacket, you've got the power of the mighty 'W' - with the power to cut in line, the power to melt girls into love-putty, and the power to snicker at life from the back of class.
- Beeno Gladner: [to Pete when a wrestler gets hurt] Take this fallen squid down to the nurse. Tell her to rub some dirt on it. He should make it.
- Beeno Gladner: Cut out all that fancy stuff, son! Just grab the guy, throw him on the ground, start givin' him the business!
- Beeno Gladner: What in the blue-eyed blazes is going on here?
- Ellen Hickle: It's called a Reverse Wildigy. I can show you.
- Beeno Gladner: [laughs] Young lady, the only thing you can show me is your keister as it WALKS out that door.
- Ellen Hickle: I just wanna help the team.
- Beeno Gladner: You wanna help the team. Well then, put a pom-pom in your fist and get out there and root for these boys. Show 'em your pep!
- Little Pete Wrigley: [keeping Pete's teammate alive] All right, if we're gonna get along, there's three rules: One, sleep with your shoes on, just in case you have to make a break. Two, no eating unless I taste it first. Three, my code name is... "Shecky."
- Teddy Forzman: [impersonating Endless Mike all too perfecty] Carrot-head, I'd like to take this moment to remember the way you were - alive!
- Big Pete Wrigley: [roughed up by "Endless Teddy"] Where'd you learn to wrestle?
- Teddy Forzman: In your nightmares, Wrigley.
- Teddy Forzman: I wonder where Mike's at?
- Big Pete Wrigley: Maybe he wussed out. Too bad. I was kind of looking forward to curling his teeth.
- Endless Mike Hellstrom: I am... the Doctor... of Death... and I am here... to cure YOU... of your life.
- Endless Mike Hellstrom: Oh, nice move, flamehead. Round one was just a diagnosis, my friend. Round two - the surgery.