- Fujiko Mine: [to Lupin] I knew I was right. You're not a killer. In fact, you're even allergic to death.
- Arsène Lupin III: Whew, man! I've never, ever seen old Pops this ticked off, have you?
- Daisuke Jigen: Yeah, well, he's not the only one who's ticked off, isn't that right, Goemon?
- Goemon Ishikawa XIII: You've betrayed both your principles and your partners for that bobble.
- Arsène Lupin III: What? What are you talking about? You don't seriously think I was behind that heist, do you?
- Daisuke Jigen: Just save it for the jury, Lupin. They found your fingerprints all over the joint.
- Arsène Lupin III: Wait just a minute. You know damn well how easy it is to fake fingerprints. We've done it ourselves in at least a hundred capers!
- Arsène Lupin III: Hey, what time is it?
- Fujiko Mine: [looks at her watch] It's... 12:00. Why?
- [Lupin pretends to be "transforming", then attempts to kiss Fujiko]
- Fujiko Mine: [slaps Lupin] You idiot! It's 12 noon!
- Daisuke Jigen: [to Lupin, who's lying in his bed, listless and depressed] What the hell's going on with you, Lupin? Just get a hold of yourself, willya?
- Goemon Ishikawa XIII: Lupin is no more responsible for these crimes, Jigen, than you are for the weather.
- Daisuke Jigen: Damn. Well, we gotta do somethin'.
- Arsène Lupin III: You just have to kill me.
- Daisuke Jigen: What's that, Lupin?
- Arsène Lupin III: It won't stop until I'm dead.
- [He rests his head in his hand, close to tears]
- Arsène Lupin III: Please, I'm begging you. There's no other way. Please, guys. Jigen, Goemon. There's no one else that I can ask.
- [Jigen and Goemon share a look, then walk over to Lupin. They draw their weapons]
- Arsène Lupin III: Thanks. Just make it quick.
- [Goemon strikes at Lupin but he dodges]
- Arsène Lupin III: Oh, that was close.
- [Jigen and Goemon see Lupin clinging to the ceiling light]
- Daisuke Jigen: Hey, stay still, willya?
- [He shoots at Lupin, who jumps down from the light and disarms him]
- Arsène Lupin III: Sorry about that. Force of habit, I guess. Third time's the charm.
- [He sits and waits for one of them to kill him]
- Goemon Ishikawa XIII: It's ridiculous. No.
- [He sheaths his sword. Lupin hands Jigen's gun to him]
- Arsène Lupin III: Jigen, please...
- Daisuke Jigen: No, count me out, too. Kill your own damn self.
- [He and Goemon leave]
- Arsène Lupin III: Hey, guys, wait! Please, I...
- [He sags, sadly]
- [Tied to a chair, Lupin suddenly tenses. Fujiko gasps]
- Fujiko Mine: It's midnight, right on the dot!
- [Lupin writhes in his seat. Fujiko cocks her gun]
- Fujiko Mine: Lupin, sorry I have to do this. We'll be together soon.
- Arsène Lupin III: No, wait! It's a... It's a...
- [He sneezes]
- [Lupin stands on a tire and puts his head in a noose]
- Arsène Lupin III: It's been fun... 'til now.
- [He kicks the tire away, but the second he does, a bullet from a revolver cuts the rope]
- Arsène Lupin III: Damn it! Can't a guy kill himself in peace?
- Fujiko Mine: Sorry, Lupin, but I just can't let you do this.
- Arsène Lupin III: [in thought, while spying on Dr. Normil] Interesting prognosis, Doctor, but you might wanna get a second opinion.
- Inspector Kouichi Zenigata: [over the TV, thinking Lupin was behind the murder] You're no Robin Hood or gentleman thief anymore.
- Arsène Lupin III: So someone's running around impersonating me. I mean, what's so hard to grasp? I am something of a celebrity, you know.
- Fujiko Mine: He dresses like you, he sounds like you, and he's got your fingerprints.
- Arsène Lupin III: Yeah, but he's not as handsome, according to you.
- Fujiko Mine: So what? You're a master of disguise, and I didn't say handsome anyway.
- [Dr. Normil and the Lupin stand-in enter the living room, and stand over Lupin, who has been knocked out with a sleeping pill and is lying over the table, unconscious and breathing noisily]
- Dr. Normil: Step One is now complete.
- Fake Lupin: Now we proceed with Step Two...
- [They laugh evilly]
- Fake Lupin: You know, if this was good enough to con a couple of cons like that, we just might win an Academy Award.
- Dr. Normil: Uh-huh. I could be Geffen, and you Katzenberg. But right now, I'd suggest that we check on our little Robert Downey Jr.
- [Lupin is slumped over the table, motionless. He drools on the table and groans]
- Fake Lupin: This I gotta see. How much of that stuff did you slip in?
- [Lupin drifts off into a deep sleep]
- Dr. Normil: [with a wicked chuckle] Enough. Yes, and he'll have absolutely no memory of anything that's happened.
- Fake Lupin: Yeah, or of anything that didn't happen either.
- Dr. Normil: [laughing] Exactly!