- Marian: One day we'll win. One day England will be free. School dinners won't make us throw up. Swimming pools won't stink of chlorine, and girls will be able to play football at school. And who do you think will get all these things done, Robin?
- Robin: Er, the Football Association?
- Marian: Us, Robin! And people like us. In people's hearts there'll always be a Robin Hood. There'll always be a Barrington, Little Ron and a Rabies!
- Robin: I suppose so. And, you forgot something.
- Marian: What?
- Robin: There'll always be a Maid Marian!
- Marian: Thank you, Robin.
- Robin: [aside] Mind you, no-one will remember her, will they?
- Nettle: Well, what are you going to do?
- Barrington: What do you mean?
- Nettle: Well, if one of you was trapped in the castle, what would you do?
- Barrington: We'd ask Marian.
- Nettle: She's trapped in the castle!
- Barrington: Well, that's what we'll do then. We'll get inside the Castle and ask her!
- Nettle: Ask her what?
- Barrington: How to get inside the cast... no, that won't work will it?
- Rabies: No, it's a load of rubbish. If we get inside the castle, to ask her how we get inside to rescue her, she won't be there, will she? We'll have to put her back inside to get her out again!
- Gary: Bye bye. Bye bye. Bye bye.
- The Sheriff: Gary, what are you doing?
- Gary: I'm saying bye bye to the germs, sir. They're going in the bin, out the gates and onto the rubbish heap. But they can have lots of fun making new friends in a totally different environment.
- The Sheriff: So it's more a Club 18-30 holiday than a rubbish heap.
- King John: As you know, I'm not a strict man and seldom use the cane. But there are three rules in this castle which must be obeyed. One, everyone must wear full uniform and the correct footwear at all times. Doctor Martin's All Weather Goat Kickers do not constitute the correct footwear. Two, no-one is allowed behind the cow sheds during the lunch hour for any reason whatsoever. Three, no-one, but absolutely no-one, is allowed to date, marry or in any way get off with one of my deadly enemies!