- Brock Samson: I gotta admit I always wanted to get Edgar Allan Poe in a headlock. That thing is like a pumpkin!
- Osiris Cult Henchman 1: [Henchman 2 throws his gun at Brock as he gets away] We have more bullets, you know. You gotta stop doin' that.
- Osiris Cult Henchman 2: Yeah, I know. I just thought it would be cool.
- Osiris Cult Henchman 1: Well... go get it!
- Brock Samson: Hank, you and Caligula keep up the rear... On second thought, you and Freud should do it. Caligula, you take the second wave alone.
- Executioner: Give me the Hand of Osiris!
- Dr. Venture: Give me head.
- Executioner: You didn't just say that.
- Dr. Venture: I absolutely did, what are you gonna do about it?
- Executioner: I'm about to kill your sons.
- Dr. Venture: Join the club.
- The Master: [as Cerberus] This other head likes to clean my genitals with his mouth. I know it sounds weird, I let him do it because it feels great. Oh yeah. The problem is that I can taste it. So, I taste my own genitals... in my mouth. It's... a conundrum.