Home Movies (TV Series)

History (2002)

Brendon Small: Brendon Small, Dwayne, Walter, Various

Quotes 

• Brendon : [a "historical" movie]  Yes! I, George Washington, born in 1492, freer of the slaves, and the first president of this, our country! Though, savagely impeached for the shooting of Abe Lincoln, I will lead us into the demise of all humans!

  Jason : I am Picasso! I cut off my ear with a razor in a major shaving accident, then mailed it off to an ex-girlfriend, just for laughs! And I guess I paint, too.

• Coach McGuirk : Who wrote the Gettysburg Address?

  Brendon : Nixon!

  Coach McGuirk : That's right!

• Ronald Lynch : The question was "Who wrote Hamlet?" You wrote "The Pope's cousin, Count Pope-ula, a magical monster with pencils for arms".

  Brendon : I'll be honest, Mr. Lynch. I made that one up.

• Brendon : [Brendon and Jason are in character as Starboy and the Captain of Outer Space]  How do they make hot dogs anyway?

  Jason : Who knows? Maybe they're born that way.

  Brendon : That is... the *cutest* thing you've said all day.

• Coach McGuirk : Remember what I told you about Area 51.

  Brendon : Yeah, it's where they store the frozen bodies of the aliens that landed on earth.

  Coach McGuirk : What about Area 52?

  Brendon : It's where they store the frozen bodies of the illegal aliens.

  Coach McGuirk : Very good. It's also a porn movie.