- Ronnie Corbett: I really must stop saying nasty things about my wife, y'know, Ann, I mean especially as today is our anniversary. I mustn't, y'know. I mean it's just twelve years ago today when she said, 'I do'. Certainly surprised me, because I didn't think she did.
- Ronnie Corbett: [his monologue is the story of a man cast ashore on a desert island, when suddenly after many years another person appears, bearing gifts, including a flask of his favourite whisky] A tear sprung to his eye. Did I tell you he only had one eye?