- Ronnie Barker: Parliament will be halved, and many members cut down to size, including Mr. Foot, who will be reduced to six inches. Liberal Party will only be allowed three seats, which means there will only be room for Cyril Smith.
- Ronnie Barker: I represent the National Institute of Cutting Known Economic Resources, Double Urgent, or N.I.C.K.E.R.S. 2U.
- Ronnie Barker: We're putting the army on a one-day week, so unless the Russians attack on a Monday, we'll be closed.