Daniela Denby-Ashe: Janey Harper

Quotes 

• Janey Harper : You know, mum? I don't want to stand at the school gates with a bunch of chavs. I want to stand at the school gates with Jude Law. I mean, if I can't give that to my son, how can I live with myself as a mother?

• Susan Harper : But state schools are character building! They're real! There's a rough and tumble... realness to the whole experience! Diversity, Janey - that's what it's all about.

  Janey Harper : Private schools have diversity, mum. There are millionaires, billionaires...

• Susan Harper : [after the plumber failed to fix her boiler]  Maybe I should put the oven on.

  Janey Harper : For heat or food?

  Susan Harper : Suicide!

• Janey Harper : You know, where is dad, anyway? We could do with some hot air!

  Susan Harper : He's gone to the boat show.

  Janey Harper : Dad? But he hasn't got a boat.

  Susan Harper : I go to the Ideal Home Exhibition every year - I haven't got one of those!

• Susan Harper : [Ben wants to buy a boat]  Forget it, Ben! We can't afford it! I've just promised the plumber a shipload of money for a new boiler. And for us landlubbers, our word is the only thing that separates us from frostbite and divorce!

  Ben Harper : Alright! It doesn't have to be 32 foot. It can be 20 foot. I can get that downriver.

  Susan Harper : And Michael's off to university next year.

  Ben Harper : Well, a 15 foot, then. I could... it's good to learn on...

  Janey Harper : Oh, and there's Kenzo's school fees.

  Ben Harper : I'm going to have a bath. I'll take my little boat and pretend I'm on the North Atlantic!

  Susan Harper : Well, it'll feel like it - there's no hot water!