- Laura Petrie: I mean, after all, where would the world be today, Rob, if it weren't for experiments. We wouldn't be on the moon today!
- Rob Petrie: We're not on the moon.
- Laura Petrie: That's beside the point.
- [in a game of Charades, Jerry and Rob try to guess a song title, responding to Laura's violent pantomimes]
- Jerry Helper: The whole thing? Okay. Uh, march!
- Rob Petrie: Yeah. Walk. Stomp! Stomp all over people! Walk all over people! Goose step! Treachery. Treachery. Two-faced. Two-faced. Stab! Stab in the back, stab in the back!
- [Laura points to Millie and Jerry]
- Jerry Helper: Uh... Uh, point! Point! Finger! Finger!
- Rob Petrie: Accuse, indict, uh, malicious accusory.
- [Laura grabs Millie and Jerry's faces]
- Rob Petrie: Two-faced, that's right. Pearl Harbor! I GOT IT!
- Jerry Helper: What is it?
- Rob Petrie: "On the Street Where You Live!"
- Laura Petrie: Right!
- Jerry Helper: [snatching up the paper with the answer] Hey, that IS right!
- Jerry Helper: Hey, Rob, let's play "Who Am I", huh? Who am I?
- Rob Petrie: We gave you that vase, too.
- Jerry Helper: I know, I know, thanks. Who am I?
- Rob Petrie: [muttering] You're not Eleanor Roosevelt, I'll tell you that for sure.
- Jerry Helper: Come on. Who am I? Let's play. What do you say, Rob?
- Millie Helper: [long, uncomfortable pause] Let's play charades!
- Jerry Helper: Charades! Everybody loves charades! Hey, I got it. Laura, Rob and I, we'll be on one team, and Millie, Sally and Buddy, you're on the other.
- Millie Helper: Charades all right, Rob? Laura?
- Laura Petrie: It's your house.
- Maurice B. 'Buddy' Sorrell: You didn't give them the house?
- Millie Helper: Whadda you think could be keeping Rob and Laura?
- Buddy Sorrell: Hey, maybe they had a fist fight.
- Sally Rogers: A fist fight? Rob and Laura?
- Buddy Sorrell: Yeah.
- Sally Rogers: Worst thing they ever do is kiss hard.
- Buddy Sorrell: Hey, play The Minute Waltz.
- Sally Rogers: I only know half of it.
- Buddy Sorrell: Play it twice.
- Sally Rogers: Gee, what a beautiful ashtray!
- Buddy Sorrell: Gorgeous, gorgeous!
- Sally Rogers: Yes.
- Laura Petrie: We gave them that ashtray. We gave them this lamp, too.
- Rob Petrie: No special reason, just in friendship.
- Laura Petrie: That's right.
- Sally Rogers: [long, uncomfortable pause] BOY, this is a beautiful ashtray!
- Rob Petrie: Hey, Honey, will you bring me a handkerchief?
- Laura Petrie: [calling from bedroom] We're only going next door.
- Rob Petrie: I can... I can run back here and blow my nose, I guess.
- Laura Petrie: [to Rob after answering phone] It's them.
- Rob Petrie: They're calling to apologize.
- Laura Petrie: [sarcastic tone] Yeah.
- [puzzled]
- Laura Petrie: Apologize for what?
- Rob Petrie: Well, because, uh... they... didn't know what we heard, but they are guilty because they know they said it, even though they didn't know that we know, you know?
- Laura Petrie: What?
- Rob Petrie: You unscramble it. There's a good sentence in there somewhere.
- Buddy Sorrell: I know what's bothering them.
- Sally Rogers, Jerry Helper: What?
- Buddy Sorrell: They need on-the-spot relief from acid indigestion.
- Laura Petrie: What're you gonna do with the wine?
- Rob Petrie: Well, if, uh, we're gonna go next door and, uh, swallow our pride and eat some crow, we'd better have some good wine to wash it down with.
- Jerry Helper: Do, uh... do you say nasty things about us?
- Rob Petrie: Well, let me, uh, put it this way, Jerry - we say less nasty things about you than we do about any of our other neighbors.
- Rob Petrie: Accusing you of leaving something out of a recipe! You know what that is? It's malicious accusory!
- Laura Petrie: Just another minute, dear.
- Rob Petrie: Laura, every minute here is one minute less we get to eat and dance and play games!
- Laura Petrie: We're only going next door!
- Laura Petrie: Rob, it's wrong to eavesdrop, turn it off.
- Rob Petrie: It's just a toy, we're not eavesdropping... we're playing!
- Rob Petrie: I hope they never put a woman on a rocket. 'Countdown to liftoff, 5, 4-' 'Just another minute, dear!'
- Rob Petrie: [trips on Richie's toy car] Ow! At least it was an ambulance. Laura, why are Richie's toys left out in the middle of the floor? I could've gotten killed.
- Laura Petrie: [from the bedroom] Just another minute, dear.