- [after reading producer and director credits for Bill Rebane]
- Crow T. Robot: Hey, what a coincidence: there are two guys named Bill Rebane! Heh-heh, y'know, 'cause you see, with the, and the, the guys that...
- [taking a breath of resignation]
- Crow T. Robot: This is gonna suck.
- Tom Servo: [seeing the title partially obscured by the backdrop] "Monster Go Go?" I thought this was going to be "Monster Go Home."
- Tom Servo: [singing] These two girls, they make quite a pair. / They both come from your worst nightmare. / They will haunt your soul forever. / And now, when you see pink, you're gonna think we're doomed. / They are agents of Satan...
- Joel Robinson: [chucking] Stop it, Tom.
- Gypsy: Crow?
- Crow T. Robot: Yes?
- Gypsy: I don't get you!
- Crow T. Robot: Oh.
- Gypsy: Are you mad?
- Crow T. Robot: [gruffly] NO!
- [normal]
- Crow T. Robot: No.
- Gypsy: Good. Because I want to like you, but I just don't understand where you're coming from.
- Crow T. Robot: Sure... Uh... What's not to get, though Gypsy? I just am. I hang out.
- Gypsy: Ohh. Oh. I know. It's just that, well, you know, I don't really get you.
- Crow T. Robot: Well, okay... Maybe I can help. To start with, uh, I'm a robot. I use cyber-based bubble memory. Is THAT what's confusing you?
- Gypsy: Uhh... No.
- Crow T. Robot: Is it that I work off UNIX and can use a variety of operating systems?
- Gypsy: Uhh... I guess that's a start...
- Crow T. Robot: Well... I've undergone a complex personal evolution wherein painful confusion has given way to what I like to think of as some degree of wisdom culminating in my current Zarasthustrian sense of self. Is that it?
- Gypsy: Nooo... If that helps you, its good, but...
- Crow T. Robot: Gypsy! I don't know what... Is it that I often panic when making sandwiches?
- Gypsy: Yeah! Well maybe its that kind of thing...
- Crow T. Robot: Is it that I smell conspiracy in everything and I don't know what I mean most of the time?
- Gypsy: Uh, that's perhaps a small piece of the puzzle... but...
- Crow T. Robot: Gypsy... Is it an odor?
- Gypsy: No. Well... No. Well... maybe it's TOM I don't get!
- Crow T. Robot: [losing it] Ohhhh brother! Like a Zippo lighter without any flint!
- Dr. Forrester: That's fine, Joel. Have you petty little insurrection. Just remember you're trapped in space dressed like happy *kings*, and Frank and I are down here on Earth, free to do whatever we want.
- [Frank enters reading TV guide]
- TV's Frank: Hey, Dr. F., there's a Matlock marathon on tonight. You in?