- [a hitman who resembles Abe Lincoln is dressed in a gray bellhop uniform]
- Mike Nelson: David Cassidy is Abe Lincoln: Behind Confederate Lines.
- Crow T. Robot: [as Bart Fargo pauses in his sub-machine gun rampage toward the end of the film]
- Crow T. Robot: [as Bart Fargo] I wonder if I took a leak right now if I'd break my momentum.
- [the characters have vaguely foreign accents]
- Crow T. Robot: What country does this take place in?
- Mike Nelson: Europe.
- [the professor introduces his death ray]
- Professor: The power of this ray is a lot greater than a laser.
- Crow T. Robot: [as Professor] So I haven't just invented that again.