Jane Booker: Fat Hilary

Quotes 

• Fat Hilary : Do you remember my eldest, Dominic? He's an international chess master.

  Susan Harper : Yes, you said - twice.

• Susan Harper : Oh, look! Here's Janey! You probably don't remember her. She's changed quite a bit.

  Fat Hilary : [to Janey]  Goodness me! The last time I saw you, you were running round the school playground with your skirt over your head, showing all the boys your knickers!

  Susan Harper : Maybe she hasn't changed that much.

• Fat Hilary : Hello, Ben!

  Ben Harper : [Thinking it's Susan]  Hello, darling! God, you've changed! You've done something different with your hair!

  Fat Hilary : How are you?

  Ben Harper : I have no idea! Who are you? I'm sorry - do I know you?

  Susan Harper : You remember Hilary Jessop?

  [Does a fat woman pose at Ben] 

  Ben Harper : Oh, yes! That's right - you used to be so fat!

• Fat Hilary : And their daughter has a little boy called Kenzo.

  Richard : Strange name. What does his father do?

  Ben Harper : Impregnates college students and scarpers!

• Fat Hilary : [Cries]  Why can't my life be like yours?

  Susan Harper : I'm sorry? But your life is perfect!

  Fat Hilary : No, it is not! Believe me it is not! It is a sham from top to bottom! My husband is having an affair, my eldest son is sexually confused and his younger brother is doing time in Ford Open Prison!