How I Met Your Mother (TV Series)

Come On (2006)

Neil Patrick Harris: Barney Stinson

Quotes 

• Penelope : [Showing how to do a rain dance]  Okay, crouch down and bend over a little bit.

  Barney : Wow, it took 5 shots of tequila to get you in that position.

  Penelope : I will throw you off this roof.

  Barney : So much of your mom in you.

• Ted Mosby : Penelope, I really need to make it rain this weekend.

  Penelope : Why?

  Ted Mosby : There's this girl and I...

  Penelope : "There's this girl"? You know the traditional rain dance is a sacred prayer to nature. I don't think the Great Spirit looks to kindly on white dudes who coopt it to get laid.

  Ted Mosby : This is the girl I love. If it doesn't rain this weekend, she'll end up with the wrong guy. Please.

  Penelope : This wrong guy, is he a huge jackass?

  Ted Mosby : Absolutely.

  Penelope : Kinda like Barney?

  Ted Mosby : Kinda.

  Barney : Hey!

  Penelope : You hit on my mom.

  Barney : We weren't exclusive.

  Penelope : I'm in.

• Barney : Robin again? Ted, the universe clearly does not want you and Robin to be together. Don't piss off the universe. The universe will slap you.

  Ted Mosby : But don't you think the universe has more important things to worry about than my dating life?

  Marshall Eriksen : Unless your dating life is the glue holding the entire universe together... Whoa. Chills. Anybody else get chills?

  Ted Mosby : Look, I realize we've been down this road before, but the fact is, whatever I do, it all keeps coming back to Robin, so... I gotta do this.

  [Barney slaps him] 

  Ted Mosby : Ow! What the hell?

  Barney : That wasn't me. That was the universe.

• Barney : Ted, you're forcing me to be the voice of reason! It's not a good image for me!

• Penelope : Why the hell should I help you?

  Barney : Come on, I know it didn't work out between us, but we did have a relationship.

  Penelope : We had sex twice in your car and then you dumped me. How is that a relationship?

  Barney : Twice!

• Ted Mosby : Have you ever seen a rain dance?

  Penelope : I've seen a filmstrip.

  Ted Mosby : Terrific... Uh, look I should run. I'm getting brain surgery from some guy who's seen a couple of episodes of ER. I can't believe this. We've been up here for the past hour making complete asses of ourselves.

  Barney : [Sitting, drinking a beer]  What do you mean "we," white man?

• Barney : Ted, waiting naked in a girl's bed wearing whipped cream undies does not work... *usually*. The setting - Martha's Vineyard, 1999. The characters: Yours truly and a raven-haired au pair by the name...

  Lily : [Slaps him. He stares aghast]  Universe.