- Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Even I laughed at me when I invented this alien cross-species genetic analyzer, but I guess I showed myself.
- [at Kif's baby shower]
- Fry: Hello everyone! Everybody we invited is here.
- Dr. Zoidberg: Also Zoidberg!
- The Grand Midwife: I will now take my leave. I live here, so I won't actually be going anywhere, but you don't have to talk to me anymore.
- Captain Zapp Brannigan: Kif, I'm sensing a very sensual disturbance in the force. Prepare for ship-to-ship intimacy.
- Captain Zapp Brannigan: [surprises Leela in bed] How about I help you finish that dream you were having about me?
- Leela: Okay. I was just at this part. Yaaa!
- [punches Zapp in the face]
- Captain Zapp Brannigan: Uh, let's try that a little lower and a lot softer.
- Attila the Hun: Stop! Don't shoot fire stick in space canoe! Cause explosive decompression!
- Captain Zapp Brannigan: Spare me your space age technobabble, Attila the Hun.
- Amy Wong: Spirit! Kif, that's the pony I always wanted but my parents said I had too many ponies already.
- Dr. Veins McGee: Well, except for a few broken bones, some internal hemorrhaging, and a partially barfed-up heart, everyone appears fine. Oh, and Kif is pregnant.
- Amy Wong: You're going to Nigel 7? Kif's on patrol near there, you could drop me off on the way!
- Professor Hubert Farnsworth: We could but we won't. It's a spaceship damn it! Not a prom limousine!
- [angry rant]
- Professor Hubert Farnsworth: If anyone needs me I'll be in the Angry Dome.
- Captain Zapp Brannigan: Leela! How could you? Our love has had to endure your constant hatred, and now this?
- [whining]
- Captain Zapp Brannigan: Stop testing our love!
- Kif Kroker: Leela must have impregnated me when she touched my ungloved hand. That explains the poster in hygiene class: No Glove, No Love.
- Moriarty: Right-oh, gents. It's another simulation gone mad, so murder and mayhem, standard procedure.
- Captain Zapp Brannigan: [interrupting Kif's videophone call] Lieutenant, some things came off me and clogged up the drain and... Oh, ho, what's this?
- [zooms in on Leela, reading a book]
- Captain Zapp Brannigan: Well, well, well. Do my eyes believe me, or is that my bosomy swan, Leela?
- Leela: Say again? You're breaking up.
- [throws book at videophone]
- Captain Zapp Brannigan: [interrupting Kif's videophone call] Lieutenant, some things came off me and clogged the drain, so if you could... Oh, ho, what's this?
- [zooms in on Leela, reading a book]
- Captain Zapp Brannigan: Well, well, well. Do my eyes believe me, or is that my bosomy swan, Leela?
- Leela: Say again? You're breaking up.
- [throws book at videophone]