- Martin Luther King: Is this it? This is what I got all those ass-whoopings for? I had a dream once. It was a dream that little black boys and little black girls would drink from the river of prosperity, freed from the thirst of oppression. But lo and behold, some four decades later, what have I found but a bunch of trifling, shiftless, good-for-nothing niggers? And I know some of you don't want to hear me say that word. It's the ugliest word in the English language, but that's what I see now: niggers. And you don't want to be a nigger, 'cause niggers are living contradictions! Niggers are full of unfulfilled ambitions! Niggers wax and wane, niggers love to complain! Niggers love to hear themselves talk but hate to explain! Niggers love being another man's judge and jury! Niggers procrastinate until it's time to worry! Niggers love to be late, niggers hate to hurry! Black Entertainment Television is the worst thing I've ever seen in my life! Usher, "Michael Jackson" is *not* a genre of music! And now I'd like to talk about "Soul Plane". I've seen what's around the corner, I've seen what's over the horizon, and I promise you, you niggers won't have nothing to celebrate. And no, I won't get there with you. I'm going to Canada.
- Huey: [narrating] Dr. King looked out at his people and saw they were in great need. So he did what all great leaders do: he told them the truth.
- Martin Luther King: [shouts] Will you ignorant niggas *please* shut the hell up?
- Martin Luther King: Oh, snap. No, they didn't. A boneless rib sandwich. What will they think of next? I know I shouldn't eat these. But they're for a limited time only.
- Huey: Dr King, wake up. You have an interview today.
- Martin Luther King: I'm not going. I quit.
- Huey: Dr. King!
- Martin Luther King: I don't wanna! Mm-mmm!
- Huey: Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr! You come out of that room and continue to fight for freedom and justice this instant!
- Martin Luther King: Huey, I just don't think I belong in this new world. I don't know if I need the 20 gig iPod or the 40 gig. I tried to download some Mahalia Jackson, but I lost my iTunes password.
- [the Freemans have Martin Luther King over for dinner]
- Tom Dubois: Dr King, I just wanted to say that even though you've been catching a lot of flak recently, we're very honored to meet you. Really.
- Riley: Get off his dick.
- [Huey kicks him]
- Riley: Ow! Man, I'm just sayin'. Mr. Dubois riding Dr. King like a rodeo show.
- [Huey kicks him again]
- Riley: Ow!
- Granddad: Stop it.
- Riley: [to Dr. King] You don't look famous. What are you an actor? Is you Morgan Freeman?
- [Huey punches him]
- Riley: Ow!
- Granddad: Boy, stop acting crazy. You know that's Martin Luther King. Now go clear the dishes.
- Riley: Why can't this Morgan Freeman King dude clear the dishes? Shoot, the nigga just had a free meal.
- Martin Luther King: I've seen what's around the corner. I've seen what's over the horizon and I promise you, you niggas have nothing to celebrate! And no, I wont get there with ya. I'm goin' to Canada.
- Martin Luther King: And so the philosophy of this new political party might be considered extremely leftist by some...
- Talk Show Host: [interrupting] Do you love America?
- Martin Luther King: [confused] I'm sorry?
- Talk Show Host: You sure as hell are, buddy! Why can't liberals ever answer that question with a simple yes, huh? If you ask me if I love America, I say yes. Why can't you say yes? Say you love America, right now. Say it!
- Martin Luther King: The party's basic philosophy is...
- Talk Show Host: [shouting] Say it!
- Martin Luther King: Sir, I will not be...
- Talk Show Host: [shouting] Say it or shut up!
- Talk Show Host: [normal] We'll be back with more fair and balanced coverage after...
- [Huey hits him with a chair and beats him]
- Martin Luther King Jr.: Will you ignorant niggers PLEASE shut the hell UP? Is this it? THIS is what I got all those ass-whoopings for? I had a dream once but it was a dream that little black girls and black boys would one day drink from the river of prosperity freed from the thirst of oppression. But lo and behold, some four decades later, what have I found, but a bunch of trifling, shiftless, good for nothing niggers! And I know some of you don't want to hear me say that word! It's the ugliest word in the English language! But that's what I see now! NIGGERS! And you don't want to be a nigger! Because niggers are living contradictions! Niggers are full of unfulfilled ambitions! Niggers wax and wane! Niggers love to complain! Niggers love to hear themselves talk but hate to explain! Niggers love being another man's judge and jury! Niggers procrastinate until it's time to worry! Niggers LOVE to be late! Niggers HATE to hurry! Black Entertainment Television is the WORST thing I've ever seen in my life! Usher, Michael Jackson is not a genre of music! And don't get me started on Soul Plane! I've seen what's around the corner! I've seen what's over the horizon! And I PROMISE you, you niggers have nothing to celebrate! I know I won't get there with you, because I'm going to Canada!
- Martin Luther King Jr.: You know, Huey, those of us who *do* adhere to the philosophy of non-violence frown upon the throwing of furniture to resolve our political differences.
- Martin Luther King: Black Entertainment Television is the *worst* thing I have ever seen in my life... Usher, "Michael Jackson" is *not* a genre of music... And now I'd like to talk about "Soul Plane"!
- Huey: Columbia Pictures green lit a $100 million biopic of Dr. King starring Cuba Gooding Junior. Oliver Stone was attached to direct. Spike Lee was pissed.
- Granddad: Stop acting crazy. We're going back to my house for dinner.
- Uncle Ruckus: Turn the other cheek and take me with you. I'm hongry.