Lost (TV Series)

The Long Con (2006)

Josh Holloway: James 'Sawyer' Ford

Quotes 

• [Charlie is fixing a tent for himself after Claire kicks him out] 

  Sawyer : Well, well... Look who had to relocate to the suburbs.

  [Charlie stares at him] 

  Sawyer : Ain't that just like a woman? She keeps the house, you get the cheap-ass apartment. Man, I thought these people hated me, but I gotta hand it to you... Stealing a baby, trying to drown it, now that's a new low. You even made Locke take a swing at you. Hell, that's like getting Ghandi to beat his kids.

• Sawyer : Remember when you said I was all you ever wanted? Well, now you know better.

• Kate : Why do you have to do this?

  Sawyer : You run. I con. A tiger don't change their stripes.

• Charlie : Sawyer, this idea, all of this, what we did, what made... How does someone think of something like that?

  [Sawyer has a flashback] 

  Sawyer : I'm not a good person, Charlie. Never did a good thing in my life.

• Sawyer : That's right Jack. He's as stupid as you are. You were so busy worrying about each other you never even saw me coming, did you? How about you listen up, because I'm only going to say this once. You took my stuff. While I was off trying to get us help -- get us rescued -- you found my stash and you took it, divvied it up -- my shaving cream, my batteries, even my beer. And then something else happened.

  [Points at Locke and Jack] 

  Sawyer : You decided these two boys here were going to tell you what to do and when to do it. Well, I'm done taking orders. And I don't want my stuff back. Hell, shaving cream don't matter. Batteries don't matter. The only thing that matters now is guns. And if you want one, you're going to have to come to me to get it!

  [Looks at Sayid and sees that he is mad] 

  Sawyer : Oh, you want to torture me now, don't you? Show everybody how civilized you are. Go ahead; but I'll die before I give them back. Then you'll really be screwed, won't ya? There's a new sheriff in town, boys! Ya'll best get used to it.

• Sawyer : You versus Sun - hot oil death match - my money's on you, Sheena.

  Kate : Thanks for your vote of confidence.

• Jack : You gave him the guns?

  Locke : No. I hid them.

  Sawyer : That's right, Jack. He's as stupid as you are. You were so busy worrying about each other, you never even saw me coming, did you?

• [the counter is winding down] 

  Jack : What are you doing here?

  Sawyer : One second. I'm like this close to the high score on Donkey Kong.

  [Sawyer types in the numbers] 

  Sawyer : Now, what can I do you for?

  Jack : Where's Locke?

  Sawyer : I don't know. I think he said something about going to the store for a pack of smokes.

  [Jack checks the vault and finds it empty] 

  Sawyer : Uh oh. Looks like we got ourselves a theft. Who's gonna call the cops?

  Jack : Where are they?

  Sawyer : Don't look at me. I was just pushing the button.

• [Sawyer and Kate are looking around after Sun is attacked] 

  Kate : It's a hood. Just like the one they put over my head.

  Sawyer : No, it's not. This one's black, different weave. It's all in the details, and they're wrong.

  Kate : Well, if it wasn't them, then who?

• Sawyer : Looks like the good folks of Island Town are about to form a posse. Get themselves armed up. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if Jack didn't find that horse of yours, start leading the charge in a big white hat.