The X-Files (TV Series)

Humbug (1995)

Jim Rose: Dr. Blockhead

Photos 

Quotes 

• Dr. Blockhead : Did you know that through the protective Chinese practice of Tiea Bu Shan, you can train your testicles to draw up into your abdomen?

  Fox Mulder : Oh, I'm doing that as we speak.

• [last lines] 

  Fox Mulder : Hey, what's the matter with your friend?

  Dr. Blockhead : I don't know what his problem is. Maybe it's the Florida heat.

  Dana Scully : Hope it's nothing serious.

  The Conundrum : [he speaks for the first time]  Probably something I ate.

• Dana Scully : [talking about her autopsy on Lanny]  I've never seen anything like it.

  Dr. Blockhead : And you never will again. Twenty-first century genetic engineering will not only eliminate the siamese twins and the alligator-skin people, but you're gonna be hard-pressed to find a slight overbite, or a not-so-high cheekbone. You see, I've seen the future, and the future looks just like him!

  [points to Mulder] 

  Dr. Blockhead : Imagine, going through your whole life looking like that.

• [Mulder and Scully enter and see Dr. Blockhead sitting on a bed of nails, untangling dozens of fishing lines attached to dozens of fishing hooks planted in the skin of his chest] 

  Dana Scully : Mr. Swaim, federal agents, we're here to...

  [stops and stares] 

  Dr. Blockhead : It's a variation of a Native American sun dance ritual. I suspend myself by these hooks, and the pain becomes so unbearable I leave my body. If people knew the true price of spirituality, there'd be more atheists.

• Dana Scully : Is this man also a body manipulator?

  Dr. Blockhead : No, in the classical sense, the Conundrum's a geek.

  Fox Mulder : He eats live animals?

  Dr. Blockhead : He eats anything. Live animals, dead animals, rocks, lightbulbs, corkscrews, battery cables, cranberries...

• Dana Scully : Mr. Swaim, we're here to question you about some recent murders.

  Dr. Blockhead : I don't answer any questions until I talk to my lawyer.

  Fox Mulder : Who's your lawyer?

  Dr. Blockhead : I represent myself.

• Dr. Blockhead : That's why it's up to the self-made freaks like me and The Conundrum to remind people.

  Dana Scully : Remind people of what?

  Dr. Blockhead : Nature abhors normality. It can't go for long without creating a mutant. Do you know why?

  Dana Scully : No, why?

  Dr. Blockhead : I don't know either. It's a mystery. Maybe some mysteries are never meant to be solved.

• [Mulder falls on a bed of nails] 

  Dana Scully : Mulder, are you okay?

  Fox Mulder : It's more comfortable than a futon.

  [the door opens, showing Sheriff Hamilton holding Dr. Blockhead by the hooks in his chest] 

  Sheriff Hamilton : Hey! Look what I caught.

  [tugs on the line] 

  Dr. Blockhead : Ouch!

• [emerging from beneath a coffin at a funeral] 

  Dr. Blockhead : Not having known the deceased personally, I'm in no position to perform a proper eulogy! I'm sure he was a nice guy, et cetera, et cetera. But as an admirer of the man's work, I am in a position to perform an impromtu tribute in his honor - namely, ramming this spike into my chest!