Ted Dykstra: Muse

Quotes 

• Jaye Tyler : Was this all a big setup? Get me to turn a few tricks for the universe, break my heart, and then ship me off to the crazy house before I can squeal?

  Dr. Ron Campbell : Do you feel yourself getting worked up right now? I'd like to de-escalate that feeling.

  Muse : Save him from her.

  Jaye Tyler : He's not in any danger! You lied. Why'd you lie? What is this about?

  Dr. Ron Campbell : How would you feel if I referred you to another therapist?

  Muse : Lick the light switch.

  Jaye Tyler : Wait, what?

  Dr. Ron Campbell : It's not a rejection.

  Muse : Lick the light switch.

  Jaye Tyler : That's disgusting!

  Dr. Ron Campbell : It's not disgusting to want you to have the best care.

  Jaye Tyler : I was talking to the monkey.

  Dr. Ron Campbell : If you'd like to speak to the monkey privately, I could step into the next room.

  Jaye Tyler : Would you mind?

  Dr. Ron Campbell : Not at all.

• Jaye Tyler : Tell me why you talk to me!

  Muse : Because you listen.

• Dr. Ron Campbell : [startled to find Jaye in his office]  How did you get in here?

  Jaye Tyler : The door.

  Dr. Ron Campbell : The door was locked.

  Jaye Tyler : Yeah. Well, no, it wasn't. Um, I just need to borrow your monkey.

  Dr. Ron Campbell : You're not borrowing my monkey, Jaye.

  Jaye Tyler : I kinda have to. They told me I had to save him from her, and the wax lion said that the monkey would tell me why.

  Dr. Ron Campbell : Save who from her?

  Muse : [through the monkey]  She's going to kill him.

  Jaye Tyler : She's gonna kill him?

  Dr. Ron Campbell : Is my monkey talking to you now, Jaye?

  Muse : She's going to kill him. She's going to kill him, and it's all because of you.

• Jaye Tyler : [returning her therapist's brass monkey bookend]  I wanted to give this back to you.

  Dr. Ron Campbell : It's got a few dings. And is this wax?

  Jaye Tyler : Uh, yeah. Sorry about that. And sorry about not coming back after I said I had to feed the meter... two months ago.

  Dr. Ron Campbell : It all worked out fine. Why'd you come back today? What's happening in your world?

  Jaye Tyler : Okay, well, what have my mom and brother told you? 'Cause I don't wanna repeat information.

  Muse : [through the brass monkey]  Tell him nothing.

  Dr. Ron Campbell : We're not talking about your mom or your brother.

  Jaye Tyler : Then you'd better tell me something, 'cause I'm fixing to neuter you.

  [seeing Dr. Ron's look] 

  Jaye Tyler : I was talking to the monkey. It talked to me first.

• Muse : Save him from her.

  Jaye Tyler : Let's talk about that, shall we? Now, if experience has taught me anything, it's that following your instructions regarding Eric and Heidi causes me great pain.

  Muse : Save him from her!

  Jaye Tyler : But I have to admit I'm intrigued. Why make me make a home if you're just gonna make me break a home? Is this a trick? Is this gonna turn out badly for me somehow?

  Muse : [through the wax lion]  Ask the monkey.