Women of the House (TV Series)

That's What Friends Are For (1995)

Teri Garr: Sissy Emerson

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Natty's been talking on the phone to her imprisoned boyfriend] 

  Sissy Emerson : So how are things going at old Rancho Minimum Security?

  Natalie Hollingsworth : You know, Emerson, I can do without the sarcasm.

  Sissy Emerson : Sorry, Natty, I'm just trying to cheer you up. I guess just being in love with your ex-boss-Congressman who's also married and serving time in prison on fraud and bribery charges might be making you, oh I don't know - a little bit blue. But then if you're happy, I'm happy.

• Natalie Hollingsworth : Emerson, I'm curious about what you've been doing in the bathroom for 45 minutes every morning this past week. I mean, is there some reason you are unable to perform your toiletries at home?

  Sissy Emerson : You know, I never really thought of it as "performing my toiletries!" But actually, if you are referring to brushing my teeth, yes, sometimes when I'm running late I do it here.

  Natalie Hollingsworth : Please, you have been in there long enough to have a baby!

  Sissy Emerson : Oh, right. You caught me. I was in there having Newt Gingrich's love child.

• Sissy Emerson : I haven't even had a date since 1956. If it wasn't for the occasional crowded elevator, I wouldn't have any sex life at all!

• Suzanne Sugarbaker : She even made that cute little rodeo shirt for my dog, Randy. He loves it too, wears it all the time!

  Sissy Emerson : Did it ever occur to you that it might be because he can't undo the buttons?

• Suzanne Sugarbaker : I tried my best to be charming. They asked me about the crime bill and I gave what I thought was a real cute answer.

  Natalie Hollingsworth : Why are my palms beginning to sweat?

  Suzanne Sugarbaker : I just explained that I'm all for that three strikes thing, but I think we should be just as hard on the women as we are on the men - especially all those Lorena Bobbitt imitators. I mean, I'm sorry but fair is fair. I say, two balls and you're out!

  Sissy Emerson : And this was not well-received?

• Jennifer Malone : Also an Ann Gilroy called, she said she'll be in town next week and plans to stop by.

  Sissy Emerson : No, not now! How did she find me here?

  Jennifer Malone : Who is she?

  Sissy Emerson : Oh, she's this woman that told everyone at The Post that I was drinking even before I was drinking. I just hate people who can predict a shortcoming.

• Sissy Emerson : Probably the only reason she's stopping by here is because she smells that things aren't going well for me. She's got a nose like a pig hunting truffles.

• Natalie Hollingsworth : Emerson, I want to know what's going on with you. Are you drinking again?

  Sissy Emerson : No, Natty, I am not drinking again! If I were drinking I'd be in a good mood!