- Dr. Miguelito Loveless: [after his henchmen practice a bank robbery, which failed] Pitiful. Absolutely pitiful! I introduce one little element of surprise, and what happens? Weeks of rehearsal go up in smoke.
- Rainey: Sleight you an upstage left was kind of unexpected, Professor.
- Dr. Miguelito Loveless: Stage left, stage right, center, what difference does it make? If that had been the real West instead of an incompetent look-alike, you'd have been in a lot more trouble!