- President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet: Charlie!
- Charlie Young: Yes, sir?
- President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet: Could I have a couple of aspirin, or a weapon of some kind to kill people with?
- Charlie Young: Yes, sir.
- Leo McGarry: Can you keep your people in line?
- Josh Lyman: Well, there's been no evidence of it so far.
- President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet: You know, we forget sometimes. In all the talk about democracy, we forget it's not a democracy. It's a republic. People don't make the decisions. They *choose* the people who make the decisions. Could they do a better job choosing? Yeah, but when you consider the alternatives...
- Leo McGarry: I wanna see a summary on my desk, absolutely no longer than two pages, and I want my initials on it before you go into the Oval Office.
- Josh Lyman: Two-page summary is gonna kind of cramp our style, isn't it?
- Leo McGarry: Your style could use a little cramping.
- Sam Seaborn: I'm going to take Ainsley to the Hill with me for the meetings.
- Leo McGarry: Good.
- Sam Seaborn: She wants me to teach her a couple things.
- Leo McGarry: Good.
- Sam Seaborn: She called me the master.
- Leo McGarry: Get out.
- Sam Seaborn: Okay.
- Sam Seaborn: You reversed my position.
- Ainsley Hayes: Yeah.
- Sam Seaborn: I gave this to you to summarize, and you didn't summarize it so much as you reversed my position.
- Ainsley Hayes: I gave it a little polish, yeah.
- Sam Seaborn: You reversed my position.
- Ainsley Hayes: It's shorter.
- Sam Seaborn: It is shorter... and you reversed my position.
- Danny Concannon: Hey, C.J.
- C.J. Cregg: Hey, Nimrod.
- Danny Concannon: Look, I leaked your damn story for you.
- C.J. Cregg: You leaked it for me, I leaked it to you, pal. I used you like so much... whatever.
- Danny Concannon: Well put.
- Peter: Before you were on Bartlet's payroll, you were a pretty vocal opponent of the treaty.
- Ainsley Hayes: Well, it's President Bartlet. I'm on the government payroll. And I believe that politics should stop at the water's edge.
- Peter: Okay.
- Ainsley Hayes: To be perfectly honest with you, I think it should stop well before that, but it turns out there's no Santa Claus and Elvis isn't cutting records anymore.
- Senator's Aide: What is she saying?
- Ainsley Hayes: See, I don't think you think the treaty's bad; I don't think you think it's good; I think you want to beat the White House.
- Peter: Yes.
- Ainsley Hayes: You're a schmuck, Peter. Today, tomorrow, next term, these guys'll have the treaty ratified, and they'll do it without the reservations he just offered to discuss with you... Can I take this muffin?
- Ainsley Hayes: I'm not gonna say anything. I'm not gonna spill anything. I'm not gonna get Republican juice on you. I'm just gonna sit there and learn.
- Sam Seaborn: What?
- Ainsley Hayes: From the master, Sam. I wanna learn from the master.
- Sam Seaborn: You see, women think that kind of thing works, but it doesn't.
- Ainsley Hayes: [takes a step closer to him] It really does Sam.
- Sam Seaborn: [turns and walks away, Ainsley follows] I'll let you come to the hill, you'll summarize my memo.
- Ainsley Hayes: I'll use punctuation and everything. You might even get extra credit.
- Sam Seaborn: You must've had 'em rolling in the aisles back in Georgia.
- Ainsley Hayes: I'm from North Carolina.
- Sam Seaborn: Wherever it was that you studied baton twirling.
- Ainsley Hayes: That'd be Harvard Law School.
- Donna Moss: Do you know how many people acquire carpal tunnel syndrome?... 600,000 Americans a year. Do you have any idea how painful it is?... pain in your forearm, no grip, you lose the ability to pinch.
- Josh Lyman: People who lose the ability to pinch. I gotta tell ya, I don't know from where they summon the will to go on.
- Donna Moss: Josh, my value here is that I have no value!
- Josh Lyman: You have enormous value to me; you have no value to Eastern Europe.
- C.J. Cregg: Mr. President, you have to send them a message.
- President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet: I really don't, C.J... Is this personal?
- C.J. Cregg: Excuse me?
- President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet: I hear things, I don't understand most of it, but I hear it.
- C.J. Cregg: No, sir, it's absolutely not personal.
- President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet: He's a great reporter and you're a great Press Secretary and that's why it wasn't going to work as long as the two of you had those jobs.