The West Wing (TV Series)

And It's Surely to Their Credit (2000)

John Larroquette: Lionel Tribbey

Photos 

Quotes 

• Sam Seaborn : [Having discovered in Ainsley Hayes' office a vase of dead flowers with the sign "bitch" attached to it, Sam realizes that White House staffers Brookline and Joyce are responsible, and soon bursts into their office. White House Chief Counsel Lionel Tribbey enters behind Sam, unnoticed] 

  Sam Seaborn : You know what, guys? When I write something, I sign my name. Here, I'll show you.

  [grabs Joyce's desk blotter, dashing everything on it to the floor] 

  Steve Joyce : SAM!

  Sam Seaborn : Do you have any idea how big a harassment suit you just exposed us to? She just... She works here. Which is more than I can say for either one of you.

  [grabbing a pen, he quickly scrawls a message on the blotter as they watch. He holds it up for them to see] 

  Sam Seaborn : "You're fired. S. Seaborn."

  [throws blotter down] 

  Mark Brookline : Sam, I don't know who you think you are around here, but you can't fire us.

  Lionel Tribbey, White House Counsel : Ohhh... Yes. He can. Leave here, and don't ever come back. It's time for both of you to write your book now.

• Lionel Tribbey, White House Counsel : [about Ainsley]  Well, forgive me, sir, but when you have a few moments, I would like to discuss the hiring of blonde and leggy fascists whose knowledge does not include the proper order of the alphabet for positions of the White House Counsel's office.

  President Josiah Bartlet : And we will, Lionel, but right now I don't know if you've noticed but there are thirty or forty other people in the room, many of whom have donated significant amounts of money to the Democratic Party, so perhaps you could get a tighter grip on your horses and we will talk about it later.

  Lionel Tribbey, White House Counsel : Yes. Well. Good morning, everyone! Thank you, Mr. President.

  President Josiah Bartlet : Well, obviously, Lionel Tribbey is a brilliant lawyer whom we cannot live without, or there would be very little reason not to put him in prison.

• Ainsley Hayes : Mr. Tribbey? I'd like to do well on this, my first assignment. Any advice you could give me that might point me the way of success would be, by me, appreciated.

  Lionel Tribbey : Well, not speaking in iambic pentameter might be a step in the right direction.

• [Ainsley Hayes is about to meet her new boss, White House counsel Lionel Tribbey] 

  Leo McGarry : You're going to meet him right now. It's going to be fine...

  Ainsley Hayes : It's not going to be fine. He's gonna yell, and scream, I've seen him on TV...

  Leo McGarry : Well, that's TV. He's making a full-throated defense of the President. That's what we do. Believe me, in real life, when the cameras are off...

  [Lionel Tribbey storms into the office, smacking a cricket bat against the walls with great fury] 

  Lionel Tribbey : [screaming]  Leo! I will kill people today, Leo. I will kill people with this cricket bat, which was given to me by Her Royal Majesty Elizabeth Windsor, and then I will kill them again with my own hands.

• Ainsley Hayes : The President's way too moderate for your taste.

  Lionel Tribbey, White House Counsel : Excuse me?

  Ainsley Hayes : On affirmative action, capital gains, public schools, free trade... You left a lucrative practice in Chicago and a seven-figure income.

  [beat] 

  Ainsley Hayes : It wasn't out of duty?

• Lionel Tribbey : Who is this?

  Leo McGarry : This is Ainsley Hayes. She's scared of meeting you, so be nice.

  Lionel Tribbey : Ah, the girl who's been writing the columns.

  Leo McGarry : Yeah.

  Lionel Tribbey : [to Ainsley]  You're an idiot.

  Ainsley Hayes : Leo...

  Leo McGarry : She's not an idiot, Lionel. She clerked for Dreifort.

  Lionel Tribbey : Well, Dreifort's an idiot.

  Leo McGarry : Dreifort's a Supreme Court Justice, Lionel, so let's speak of him with respect and practice some tolerance for those who disagree with us.

  Lionel Tribbey : I believe, as long as Justice Dreifort is intolerant toward gays, lesbians, blacks, unions, women, poor people, and the first, fourth, fifth, and ninth amendments, I will remain intolerant toward him.

  [grins at Ainsley] 

  Lionel Tribbey : Nice to meet you.