- Tom: Well, I couldn't wait to retire...
- Diana Trent: Yes, well, that's the difference, isn't it? Some people want to retire, other people don't. You'd think the system could be geared to accommodate both.
- Harvey Bains: The place is turning into a geriatric Club Med!
- Jane: Oh, well, they all seem a lot happier.
- Harvey Bains: But is that the object of the exercise here, Jane? Is it?
- Jane: Isn't it?
- Harvey Bains: No! It isn't! It isn't! It isn't!... Well, I mean it is, of course it is.
- Diana Trent: I think our beloved leader, Harvey Pea-brain Baines, the athlete's foot from the Black Lagoon, the soot from the flue of life, he who should be scraped from one's shoe...
- Tom: Get to the point!
- Diana Trent: Well, I think Baines is up to something.
- Tom: He probably wants to curb your use of extravagant metaphor.
- [first lines]
- Harvey Bains: What!
- [there is a knock on the door]
- Harvey Bains: Come in.
- Jane: You wanted to see me, Harvey?
- Harvey Bains: I do indeed, Jane. In fact, I must say it is a positive delight to see you looking so wonderful.
- Jane: Oh.
- Harvey Bains: Sit down. You, Jane, are my strong right arm.
- Jane: And your permanent right arm since the Residents' Committee insisted on it.
- Harvey Bains: Yes. And isn't it wonderful to have such a clever Residents' Committee. All those charming old people being able to use the wisdom of their years to tell me how to run this place, even if I do have all those *weeks* of management training behind me.