Graham Crowden: Tom Ballard

Quotes 

• Jane : Harvey, I'm touching you.

  [Harvey smiles] 

  Jane : Oh, you usually tell me not to touch you.

  Harvey Bains : No, it's all right, Jane. Doesn't matter. You can crawl all over me if you like. You see, I'm not really here.

  Tom : Ooh, I know that feeling. Where are you? Up Everest? Banged up in Colditz? Don't you worry; we're tunnelling out on Wednesday.

  Jane : Tom, we're trying to get him back to reality, not further away.

• [last lines] 

  Diana : Excuse me, Tom, if you knew all this, why did you make me apologize?

  Tom : I thought it might be good for your soul. And God bet me I couldn't make you do it. I won a 'Get Out of Purgatory Free' card.

  Diana : He's done both of us. I will never forgive him.

  Harvey Bains : I'm with you there, Diana.

  Tom : I don't believe it! A miracle! You both agree on something!

  [laughs] 

• [first lines] 

  Tom : It's a bit like Bayview. Even got its own Idiot Bains now.

  Jane : Under the circumstances, I don't think that's a very nice thing to say, Tom.

  Tom : Just a bit of stress, Jane. He'll be out soon.

  Jane : Just whatever you do, don't mention Diana.

  Tom : Uh, yes.

• Tom : [Diana is packing some boxes]  Getting rid of your old junk?

  Diana : No, you're still here.

• Diana : I can't blame the old trouts for turning agin me. I was yelling at them from a different planet. Looks like they never heard a word.

  Tom : No, you're wrong. They heard every word.

  Diana : No, I don't think so.

  Tom : Yes, it was just that they didn't understand. All they needed was a translator. Someone who could explain the weasel under the sideboard.

  Diana : You've been playing with that Harold Pinter again, haven't you?