Stephanie Cole: Diana Trent

Quotes 

• Diana : I'm trying to drain the blood from my feet.

  Tom : Oh, good idea. Why?

  Diana : 'Cause I spent half the night dancing with naked men.

  Tom : What did you do the other half of the night?

  Diana : Dragged Jane off naked men. You know, I think they were the first she'd ever seen. Her conversion made Saint Paul's Damascus Road number look like a housewife having a bit of a dither in Tesco's.

• [last lines] 

  Tom : Happy?

  Diana : You'll see how happy.

  Tom : How do you mean?

  Diana : When we get home I am going to give you the best Saturday nighting you have ever had in your life.

  Tom : Jolly good. Meanwhile, we might as well do the photos. We have paid.

• [first lines] 

  Rev. Dennis Sparrow : Right. Before we start the wedding rehearsal there are one or two things I find a bit confusing.

  Diana : Like is it night or day.

  Rev. Dennis Sparrow : These are to take place one after another.

  Tom : Well done.

  Rev. Dennis Sparrow : You don't want a double wedding?

  Diana : No!

  Rev. Dennis Sparrow : And the first wedding is between, um... Harvey and Tom, right?

  Tom : Almost.

  Jane : Harvey and me, Dennis.

  Rev. Dennis Sparrow : Oh, good! I thought for a moment we might be getting a bit modern. The second wedding is between, um... Any volunteers?

  Tom : [holding up his and Diana's hand]  Us.

  Rev. Dennis Sparrow : Oh. And who are you marrying?

  Diana : Each other, you pillock! Get on with it!

  Rev. Dennis Sparrow : Pillock, right. Jane, who's giving you away?

  Jamie Edwards : I am. Her grandfather.

  Rev. Dennis Sparrow : And who's giving Diana away?

  Jamie Edwards : Me again. Double shift.

  Rev. Dennis Sparrow : Are you Diana's grandfather as well?

  Diana : No, he's my auntie.