Unhappily Ever After (TV Series)

The Temptation of Jack (1996)

Geoff Pierson: Jack Malloy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Jack Malloy : Sweetheart, she'll be gone faster than a man at a K.D. Lang concert.

• Tiffany Malloy : Daddy, I need to speak to you privately please.

  Jack Malloy : [as he follows her, muttering:]  Why does everybody always want to speak to me privately when I'm eating or drinking or sleeping, why can't they just call me at work when I'm doing nothing?

  [sits down next to Tiffany on couch] 

  Tiffany Malloy : Daddy, I want her out of here.

  Jack Malloy : I want her out of here too, she's been killing me for twenty years.

  Tiffany Malloy : No, Daddy, I'm talking about Sable.

  Jack Malloy : Oh.

• Ryan Malloy : Hey, Dad! Dad! Wait! Wait! Can I talk to you a minute?

  Jack Malloy : No, I'm busy. I've got to do something for Tiffany.

  Ryan Malloy : Well, Dad, I'm just as important as Tiffany.

  [Jack bursts out laughing at this ridiculous concept] 

• Jack Malloy : [muttering to himself, arriving at apartment]  Man, I hope this old bat doesn't have a temper. Yeah, right, she's a woman, they never have tempers.

  [knocks] 

  Jack Malloy : Not home, too bad. Well, I'll just stick this little note under her door.

  [bends down, door opens, he gazes upwards mesmerized over long bare legs, short black dress, ample cleavage, fixing on that] 

  Morgana : [speaking down]  Hello. Hello.

  [impatiently:] 

  Morgana : Hello!

  Jack Malloy : [from kneeling position]  Hello.

  Morgana : [instantly welcoming]  I'm Morgana. Come on in.

  Jack Malloy : Uh, don't you wanna know who I am, or what I'm doing here?

  Morgana : [very sure of herself]  Not really, but I'm sure we'll get around to it.

• Tiffany Malloy : Now, I want you to march over to Sable's house, and tell her mother that... that mothers and daughters need to spend time together.

  Jennie Malloy : [calling to her]  Tiffany, would you like to help me cut the cake?

  Tiffany Malloy : [fake smile]  I'll be right there.

  [annoyed, to Jack:] 

  Tiffany Malloy : Uh, she's so needy.

  Jack Malloy : Mm.

  Tiffany Malloy : Daddy, if you don't do it, I'm just going to have to do this.

  [pouts] 

  Jack Malloy : Oh no... not... not... not the pouty lip. And not the Bambi eyes.

  [Tiffany does both] 

  Jack Malloy : All right, all right, I'll... I'll do it.

• Mr. Floppy : Is this girl like you'd expect for Ryan?

  Jack Malloy : Oh no, she's a real knockout.

  Mr. Floppy : [with irony]  Well, Jack, I trust your taste. You're the chick-meister.

  [dripping sarcasm:] 

  Mr. Floppy : We've all seen the missus.

• Jack Malloy : I didn't want the woman! She scared the hell out of me! I mean, what if I was no good? I'd rather think I can than know I can't, you know what I mean?

  [Mr. Floppy nods] 

  Jack Malloy : Imagine how hard it would be to have a fantasy if you know you stink. No, sir, I'd rather keep the lie alive.

  [dramatic gesture with balled fist:] 

  Jack Malloy : Keep the lie alive!

  [smiles] 

  Jack Malloy : Mr. Floppy, I'm hanging up my party jeans.

• Jack Malloy : [re Sable]  Hey, who's that? She seems like a very nice girl.

  Tiffany Malloy : I hate her.

  Jack Malloy : I hate her too.