- Tsarina Alexsis Nobov Serfeivna Ranevskya: Doctor Popov, t-t-this, this buzzing in the ears, eh... is it bad?
- Doctor Popov: What is bad? Is waking up in the middle of the night and finding your legs have fallen off bad?
- Tsarina Alexsis Nobov Serfeivna Ranevskya: Yes!
- Doctor Popov: Then it is bad.
- Tsarina Alexsis Nobov Serfeivna Ranevskya: Doctor Popov you are a doctor, say you can save me?
- [pleading]
- Tsarina Alexsis Nobov Serfeivna Ranevskya: Say you can save me?
- [screaming]
- Tsarina Alexsis Nobov Serfeivna Ranevskya: Say you can save me?
- Doctor Popov: Alright I can save you.
- Tsarina Alexsis Nobov Serfeivna Ranevskya: You're just saying that!
- Tsarina Alexsis Nobov Serfeivna Ranevskya: Guards, there, there is a thief in the palace.
- T. Bag: [dressed as a guard] Oh yes, not a little blonde girl with a face you'd love to slap, huh?
- Tsarina Alexsis Nobov Serfeivna Ranevskya: Yes, that's the one.
- T. Bag: I thought as much, it's the notorious Penny pee-wee pincher, public enemy numero uno.
- T. Bag: Pee-Wee!
- Penny Hunt: T.Bag!
- Tsarina Alexsis Nobov Serfeivna Ranevskya: Grigori.
- Doctor Popov: Your Majesty, your Majesty.
- Tsarina Alexsis Nobov Serfeivna Ranevskya: Grigori.
- Penny Hunt: T.Bag!
- T. Bag: Pee-Wee!
- T. Shirt: Oh that's right everybody just ignore me! I'm only the T-Caddy.
- T. Bag: Shut up.
- Tsarina Alexsis Nobov Serfeivna Ranevskya: Grigori, you clever, clever man. You have apprehended the thief.
- Doctor Popov: Yeah, eh, pardon?
- Penny Hunt: Eh, he didn't apprehend me, I apprehended him.
- Tsarina Alexsis Nobov Serfeivna Ranevskya: Silence, wicked hussy.
- T. Bag: I'll wash that smug look off of your face, dear, if I have to go and buy a bar of soap the size of Bolivia!
- Tsarina Alexsis Nobov Serfeivna Ranevskya: Pop off, Popov and fetch a priest. We shall be wed at once.