The Six Million Dollar Man (TV Series)

Return of the Robot Maker (1975)

Lee Majors: Col. Steve Austin

Photos 

Quotes 

• Barney Barnes : Here it is: la pièce de résistance. A pinnacle of my achievements.

  [pulls out a piece of cloth, straightens it] 

  Col. Steve Austin : A bulletproof tablecloth?

  Barney Barnes : No, no, no, no, a bulletproof vest! Look, forget the material just look: thin as a waver, light as a feather. This won't restrict your movements like a regular bulletproof vest. But it'll stop an eigh millimeter shell and give you ten cents change.

• Col. Steve Austin : You know Oscar, you tell that joke about three times a week.

  Robot : It's the only one I know.

  Col. Steve Austin : Yeah, but if you learned another one, then you'd have two.

• Col. Steve Austin : Oscar, how did you do that?

  Robot : Hm?

  Col. Steve Austin : Well, that coffee, it's scolding hot.

  Robot : Well, I have the perfect, eh, stomach for working in Washington, Steve, I can eat anything, I can drink anything, I just burn it up. It's cast iron.

• Col. Steve Austin : [to Oscar's impersonator]  You know, you talk about that computer like it was your brother or something. It's just a bunch of wires, dumb wires.

• Robot : Colonel Austin was a traitor. He'll be remembered as a traitor.

• Dr. Chester Dolenz : Steve Austin, I find this dificult to say, but you've certainly earned my respect today. My hat's off to you.

  Col. Steve Austin : Well, as far as your work is concerned, Dolenz, I'll have to say the same.

  Dr. Chester Dolenz : I must say that makes me feel a good deal better.

  [to police officers] 

  Dr. Chester Dolenz : I'm ready.

  Col. Steve Austin : [as the police leads Dolenz away]  And Dolenz? This one didn't even squeak.

• Oscar Goldman : By the way, just out of curiosity, how did you know which one of us was me?

  Col. Steve Austin : Very simple, Oscar. Robots don't sweat when they're nervous.