The Simpsons (TV Series)

Itchy & Scratchy: The Movie (1992)

Nancy Cartwright: Bart Simpson, Bride, Nelson Muntz

Quotes 

• Marge : Now be good for Grampa while we're at the parent-teacher meeting. We'll bring back dinner.

  Lisa : What are we gonna have?

  Homer : Well, that depends on what your teachers say. If you've been good, pizza. If you've been bad... uh... let's see... poison.

  Lisa : What if one of us has been good and one of us has been bad?

  Bart : Poison pizza.

  Homer : Oh, no. I'm not making two stops.

• Homer : I know my punishment may seem harsh, but I can't go back on it. You're welcome to watch anything you want on TV.

  Bart : TV sucks.

  Homer : [with restrained anger]  I know you're upset right now, so I'll pretend you didn't say that!

• Homer : You know, when I was a boy I really wanted a catcher's mitt, but my dad wouldn't get it for me. So I held my breath until I passed out and banged my head on the coffee table. The doctor thought I might have brain damage.

  Bart : Dad, what's the point of this story?

  Homer : I like stories.

• Homer : Now, what were we talking about, boy?

  Bart : Uhhhh... we were talking about the time you beat jury duty.

  Homer : Oh, yeah. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.

• [as punishment for letting Maggie wander off, Homer decrees that Bart can never go to the "Itchy & Scratchy Movie."] 

  Bart : Dad, you gotta let me see that movie! Can't you just give me a spanking?

  [drops his pants, turns around, and bends over] 

  Bart : Come on, go nuts!

  Homer : Don't point that thing at me!

• [Bart has put his James Bond action figure into the microwave; as he speaks to it, he strokes Snowball II, a la Ernst Stavro Blofeld] 

  Bart : Stick around, Mr. Bond. Things are really starting to...

  [presses button] 

  Bart : Cook.

  [the figure melts, while Bart laughs evilly] 

• [last lines] 

  Homer : Which one's the mouse?

  Bart : Itchy.

  Homer : Itchy's a jerk.

  Bart : [chuckles]  Yeah.