- [a Hollywood producer wants to option Ian's manuscript for a movie]
- Mum Matheson: How thrilling!
- Randi Wallace: How weird.
- Aunt Elsa: How much?
- Dr. Ian Matheson: The money isn't important. Do you realize what this could do for my career?
- Aunt Elsa: Let's get back to the money.
- Dr. Ian Matheson: It could launch me out of academic obscurity and into the public eye. I wouldn't be just another mythology professor, I'd be a celebrity like Carl Sagan, Jonas Salk, Norman Cousins...!
- Randi Wallace: Daffy Duck.
- [Ian has just killed a zombie]
- Dr. Ian Matheson: He's dead... again.
- Charlie Bodine: Waiter, check please.
- Dr. Ian Matheson: [to Randi] You sure know how to attract deadbeats.
- Randi Wallace: I value your friendship more than anything... even though you've got the coldest hands of anyone I know.
- Dr. Ian Matheson: I'm not holding your hand.
- Randi Wallace: You're not?
- Dr. Ian Matheson: No.
- Randi Wallace: Well, then, whose hand am I holding?
- [Randi looks down and sees a ghastly hand rising from a grave]
- Samantha Stevens: Soon I will have dominion over the whole world of the dead and be able to restore them to life to do my bidding.
- Randi Wallace: [to Ian] I don't think she was satisfied with being department head.
- Dr. Ian Matheson: You'll need the third bolt for that, but it's in the British Museum, heavily guarded.
- Samantha Stevens: Against the living.