- Cosmo Kramer: So what's going on between you and Gina?
- Jerry: Well, I went with her to the hospital last night. So we're in the room, and she's trying to get me to kiss her right in front of him.
- Cosmo Kramer: See, that's the great thing about Mediterranean women. All right, so what'd you do?
- Jerry: Nothing.
- Cosmo Kramer: What kind of a man are you? The guy is unconscious in a coma and you don't have the guts to kiss his girlfriend?
- Gina: Let me ask you. What will you do if Martine wakes up? Run away like a mouse?
- Jerry: No, more like the Three Stooges at the end of every movie.
- Gina: Who are these Stooges you speak of?
- Jerry: They're a comedy team.
- Gina: Tell me about them. Everything.
- Jerry: Well, they're three kind of funny looking guys and they hit each other a lot.
- Gina: You will show me The Stooges?
- Jerry: I will show you The Stooges.
- [first lines]
- Jerry: I'm going to get a physical examination. That urine sample. Giving them that, that's always a pleasure, isn't it? Then there's always the amount question: "I don't know what you need. I gave you whatever I had there. I got more. Whatever you need, I can get it for you. Just let me know what you need. It's no problem, I mean..." But any kind of physical test, I don't know what it is... I always click into this thing where I wanna do really well. If it's gonna be a physical test, I wanna do well. Remember in school, they'd do hearing tests? And you'd really be listening, you know... trying to really... Trying to do well, I wanna do well. I wanted to do unbelievable on that hearing test. I wanted them to come to me after the hearing test and go: "We think you may have something close to super hearing. What you heard was a cotton ball touching a piece of felt. We're sending the results to Washington. We'd like you to meet the president."
- Jerry: What was the dream?
- George Costanza: I was doing standup comedy in Kennebunkport, Maine in this really ominous nightclub. The stage was on a cliff and the audience was throwing all the comics off.
- Jerry: I think I've played there.
- [last lines]
- Jerry: The thing I don't understand about the suicide person... is the people that try and commit suicide for some reason, they don't die, and then that's it. They stop trying. Why? Why don't they just keep trying? What has changed? Is their life any better now? No. In fact, it's worse, because now they've found out... here's one more thing you stink at. That's why these people don't succeed at life to begin with. Because they give up too easy. I say pills don't work, try a rope. Car won't start in the garage? Get a tune-up. You know what I mean? There's nothing more rewarding than reaching a goal you've set for yourself.
- George Costanza: I'm all set. I got the ticket. I'm going to the Cayman Islands this Friday.
- Jerry: I don't get you. Who goes on vacation without a job? What, do you need a break from getting up at 11?