Seinfeld (TV Series)

The Postponement (1995)

Michael Richards: Cosmo Kramer

Photos 

Quotes 

• George Costanza : [to Jerry]  You're a good friend. If you killed somebody, I wouldn't turn you in.

  [George leaves] 

  Jerry : Hey, Kramer, if I killed somebody, would you turn me in?

  Cosmo Kramer : Definitely.

  Jerry : You're kidding!

  Cosmo Kramer : No, no. I would turn you in.

  Jerry : You would turn me in?

  Cosmo Kramer : I wouldn't even think about it.

  Jerry : I can't believe I'm hearing this. You're supposed to be a friend of mine!

  Cosmo Kramer : Well, what kind of person are you going around killing people?

  Jerry : Well, I am sure I had a good reason!

  Cosmo Kramer : Well, if you'll kill this person, who's to say I wouldn't be next?

  Jerry : But you know me!

  Cosmo Kramer : I thought I did!

• Jerry : So, you're nothing but a stoolie. Admit it.

  Cosmo Kramer : Hey, don't do the crime if you can't do the time.

• Jerry : Another caffè latte?

  Cosmo Kramer : You better believe it.

  Jerry : Since when are you so trendy?

  Cosmo Kramer : Hey, baby, I set the trends! Who do you think started this whole caffè latte?

  Jerry : I don't recall you drinking caffè lattes.

  Cosmo Kramer : I've been drinking caffè lattes since the fifth grade and I haven't looked back.