- Elaine tells her former boss Mr. Lippman about an idea to sell only the tops of muffins. Lippman does and Elaine is shocked to see the store, until he gives her a cut of the profits and she tells him how to improve the business.
- While promoting Peterman's book, Elaine runs into her former boss, Mr. Lippman, and tells him about an idea to sell only the tops of muffins. Lippman does, and Elaine is shocked to see the store, until he gives her a cut of the profits and she tells him how to improve the business. Kramer learns that Elaine put her stories in Peterman's book (see "The Van Buren Boys"), but when Peterman won't give Kramer a cut of the profits, Kramer starts the Peterman Reality Bus Tour. Elaine has a hard time getting rid of the muffin stumps and asks Kramer to take the bus to haul the trash to the dump, but the task is easier said than done. George is asked to watch a guy's suitcase on the street and is mistaken for a tourist. He then gets a date with the head of the New York tourist bureau and decides to run with it. But then the girl meets Steinbrenner and thinks that George is working two jobs, and George ultimately gets traded to Tyler Chicken in Little Rock, Arkansas in exchange for a bunch of chicken products to be used at Yankee Stadium concession stands. Meanwhile, Jerry starts shaving his chest to impress his new girlfriend.—halo1k
- George makes the mistake of agreeing to keep an eye on someone's suitcase while he runs into a store. He gives up after a long time, but starts wearing the guy's clothes. His new get-up gets him a date with the attractive head of the visitors' bureau. Elaine runs into her old boss Lippman and suggests that a good business venture would be to sell only muffin tops. She eventually goes into business with him but has a slight problem. When Peterman finally publishes his autobiography, he includes several of Kramer's stories, so Kramer decides to make a bit of money out of the situation.—garykmcd
- The Tourist While George and Jerry are walking down the street, a stranger asks George to watch a bag of luggage for a minute. When the stranger doesn't return, George starts wearing some of the clothing from the bag, using the rationale that "I'm still watching them." While he walks down the street in the tourist's clothing, looking at a map, a woman who works for the New York Visitor's Center mistakes George for a tourist and introduces herself as Mary Anne (Rena Sofer). George pretends that he's visiting from Little Rock, Arkansas, where he works as a hen supervisor for the Tyler Chicken company.
They go to Monk's Café, where George continues to lie to Mary Anne about himself. George finds her attractive, and she's interested in him, but she doesn't want to get involved, believing he'll be leaving soon. To prolong the relationship, he tells her he's thinking of 'moving' to New York; she replies that the city would eat him alive. George is insulted by this and sets out to prove he can get by in New York by showing her his 'new' apartment and his office where he works for the New York Yankees. Then Steinbrenner (Larry David) enters George's office and Mary Anne tells him of George's alleged job with Tyler Chicken.
Steinbrenner is impressed that George is moonlighting, and he phones the CEO of Tyler Chicken, named Don Tyler (Pete G. Papanickolas) (who, like Steinbrenner, is seen from behind), to announce that he doesn't want to share George. They haggle and Tyler says, "How about this: you give me Costanza, I convert your concessions to all chicken, no charge. Instead of hot dogs, chicken dogs. Instead of pretzels, chicken twists. Instead of beer, alcoholic chicken." Steinbrenner then asks how alcoholic chicken is made; Tyler replies, "Let if ferment, just like everything else." Impressed with the alcoholic chicken, Steinbrenner agrees to give away George by having him on the next bus to Arkansas.
Eventually, the tourist returns for his clothing and is upset that George is wearing them in a bar. He takes his clothing off George, leaving him in his boxers.
Jerry Jerry notices his chest hair is uneven and tries to straighten it out but ends up shaving it all off. He worries what his girlfriend Alex (Melinda Clarke) will think, until he discovers she's fond of hairless dogs. He continues to shave his chest, despite Kramer's warning about hair growth. While Kramer is at the garbage dump, Jerry's chest begins itching from hair growth as Kramer searches for a dump that'll take the muffin stumps. Jerry's itching makes him run into the forest to scratch his chest. When the moon comes out, he howls like a werewolf while sighing at the relief that he can scratch his chest out in the woods.
Top of the Muffin to You! While eating a muffin at J. Peterman's (John O'Hurley) book signing, Elaine mentions to Mr. Lippman (Richard Fancy), her ex-boss who was also attending the book signing, that she only eats the tops and that a store selling just the tops would be a million-dollar idea. Lippman decides to start a business called "Top of the Muffin to You!" based on Elaine's idea. Elaine is outraged that he stole her idea. When the business starts to fail, Lippman asks her for advice and bribes her with 30% of the profits. She tells him that he must make the whole muffin and then pop the top from the stump; she also demands that he remove the exclamation point from his sign ("It's not top of the muffin TO YOU!" she says. Lippman replies, "No, no, it is." in a recall to "The Sniffing Accountant.") This gives the business a boost but leaves them with the problem of disposing of the muffin stumps. They initially give the stumps to the homeless shelter. But after complaints about the missing muffin tops, they have to get rid of them somewhere else.
The Peterman Reality Tour Kramer learns from Laney that the stories he'd sold to J. Peterman in a previous episode were put into Peterman's biography. Kramer goes to the book signing, claiming he's the "real" Peterman until he's kicked out. He then starts conducting "The Peterman Reality Tour" on a school bus for $37.50 apiece. Kramer asks Jerry and his girlfriend to take the tour and, while Elaine enters, she asks Kramer to get rid of the muffin stumps on his tour in return.
Credits During the credits, George is in the bathroom using its phone to call Jerry asking him to get him some clothing while mentioning that Steinbrenner traded him to Tyler Chicken. Mary Ann pops her head into the bathroom and comments that she told him that New York would "eat him alive." Later, Elaine eventually hires a "cleaner" (Newman in a Pulp Fiction spoof) for Mr. Lippman to make the muffin stump problem go away until the store gets private trash removal. Newman (Wayne Knight) then uses a bottle of milk when consuming the muffin stumps.
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