Seinfeld (TV Series)

The Cheever Letters (1992)

Jerry Seinfeld: Jerry Seinfeld

Photos 

Quotes 

• George Costanza : I wonder how Susan's father's going to react to this. Alright, what, what's the worst he could do? So you burn a house down.

  Jerry Seinfeld : Come on, it's not even a house. It's, like, a cabin.

  George Costanza : We could build a cabin like

  [snaps] 

  George Costanza : that.

  Jerry Seinfeld : Well, maybe not us... but two men could.

• [first lines] 

  Jerry Seinfeld : I don't think people think of their office as a workplace. I think they think of it as a stationery store with danish. You know what I mean? You wanna get your pastry, your envelopes, your supplies, your toilet paper, six cups of coffee, and you go home. Why do people that work in offices have pictures of their family on their desk facing them? Do they forget that they're married? Do they go, "All right, 5:00. Time to hit the bars and pick up some hookers. Hold it a second. I got a wife and three kids. I better get home. Completely forgot."

• [last lines] 

  Jerry Seinfeld : There's this whole talking-during-sex business. I mean, what are we doing here? The question is, does the talking really improve the sex, or is the sex act now just there to spice up the conversation? Of course, eventually, I'm sure people will get tired of, too lazy, even, for phone sex. They'll start having phone machine sex. "Yeah, I want you really bad. Just leave it on the tape." Then I guess the phone company will come out with sex waiting. That'll be the new thing. "Uh, yeah, hold on, honey. I got another call. Oh, hiya, baby. One second. Uh, honey, I've got to take this. Yeah, I've got sex waiting on the other line. I've got to take this."