- Julia Louis-Dreyfus: Thanks, Brad. Boy, am I mad at the way things are run around here. In dress rehearsal, this speech was four and a half minutes long. Back to you, Brad.
- Rosemary Clooney: Hi, I'm Rosemary Clooney. You know, I used to be young and cute, but now I'm old and fat. Real fat, as a matter of fact, I'm one big fat sloppy singer.
- Mike Nash: Wait a minute... hold, hold just a second here, wait... Jews don't play football!
- Ram Fellstein: So I lied! So sue me! But I got on your damn show, didn't I?
- [laughs]