Saturday Night Live (TV Series)

Tom Arnold/Neil Young (1992)

Kevin Nealon: Various, Weekend Update Anchor

Quotes 

• Bill Clinton : Alright, boys, let's stop in here for a second. I'm a little parched from the jog.

  Secret Service Agent : Eh, Sir, we've only been jogging for three blocks. Besides, Mrs. Clinton asked us not to let you in to any more fastfood places.

  Bill Clinton : Well, I just wanna mingle with the American people, talk with some real folks, maybe get a Diet Coke, or something...

  Secret Service Agent : All right, fine. But please, don't tell Mrs. Clinton.

  Bill Clinton : Jim, let me tell you something: there's gonna be a whole bunch of things we don't tell Mrs. Clinton. Fast food is the least of our worries, ok, buddy?

• Weekend Update Anchor : Good evening, I'm Kevin Nealon.

  [turns to other camera and puts on a fake moustache] 

  Weekend Update Anchor : And I'm Hector Perez.

• Weekend Update Anchor : Remember to tune in next week when we'll be taking a closer look at the stuff that didn't happen yet this week. I'm Kevin Nealon, and that's news to me.

• Weekend Update Anchor : Just a reminder: there's no reason to turn back your clocks back an hour tonight.