Sabrina the Teenage Witch (TV Series)

Five Easy Pieces of Libby (1998)

Melissa Joan Hart: Sabrina Spellman

Quotes 

• Zelda Spellman : I've done it! I'm on the verge of one of the biggest scientific breakthroughs in the history of mankind.

  Salem Saberhagen : How incredible!

  [to Sabrina] 

  Salem Saberhagen : You gonna finish that toast?

  Zelda Spellman : You know that formula I've been working on? I found the key ingredient.

  Sabrina Spellman : Liquorice?

  Zelda Spellman : Oh, don't be silly, Sabrina, liquorice won't cure allergies. It's ostrich saliva.

  Hilda Spellman : [to Sabrina]  The hard part is getting them to drool. Give me that.

  [Reaches for Zelda's beaker, which smashes on the floor; the entire room is suddenly spotless] 

  Sabrina Spellman : Wow! One drop of that and the whole kitchen is spotlessly clean!

  Hilda Spellman : I'll say! The walls, the table, the counters...

  Sabrina Spellman : Salem!

  Salem Saberhagen : [Salem has turned completely white]  I'm blonde! My IQ just dropped twenty points.

  Zelda Spellman : [Pointing at Sabrina, Hilda and herself]  Blonde, blonde, blonde.

  [Pointing at Salem] 

  Zelda Spellman : Dead.

• Mrs. Quick : I got a postcard from Valerie, she's really enjoying her trip to D.C.

  [Reading postcard] 

  Mrs. Quick : Hi, everyone! I've visited the Vietnam Memorial, the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier, and JFK's grave. This place is really fun!

  Libby Chessler : Sounds like a big loser town to me.

  Mrs. Quick : I have an important announcement to make: the school will be entering a float in the town's Democracy Daze celebration.

  Harvey Kinkle : [to Sabrina]  Great. I get to hear my Dad's Grenada story again.

  Mrs. Quick : Now who would like to be in charge of putting the float together?

  [Sabrina and Libby both raise their hands] 

  Mrs. Quick : Oh, my.

  [Looks at Valerie's postcard from Washington] 

  Mrs. Quick : Well, I think this would be the perfect opportunity for the two of you to embody our democracy's two party system and work together.

  Sabrina Spellman : What?

• Libby Chessler : [Sabrina, Libby and other students are working on the float]  The school guidelines state that the float is required to have flowers. The rest of the design is up to me.

  Sabrina Spellman : Don't you mean "us"?

  Libby Chessler : Well, I'll be using "me" as shorthand for "us". I've already got the floral design in my head...

  Sabrina Spellman : Oh! Well I'm glad your butt is working. Oh, I'll be using "butt" as shorthand for your head.

• Sabrina Spellman : [Harvey appears through a floor-level door in the side of the float]  Argh! Harvey? What are you doing under there?

  Harvey Kinkle : Soupin' up the engine. This baby'll be able to go ninety miles an hour.

  Sabrina Spellman : But we're behind the World War Two veterans. Haven't they suffered enough?

• Libby Chessler : Why have you decided to become my shadow all of a sudden?

  Sabrina Spellman : Well, I figured since we're gonna be working together, you know, maybe we could find a common ground.

  Libby Chessler : Any ground I found with you would, indeed, be common.

  Sabrina Spellman : [Chuckles nervously]  You know, wait, I'm just trying to get to know you better.

  Libby Chessler : Well, I'm popular, confident, non-freakish. Everything you're not. And if you insist on traipsing after me, could you at least wear a higher quality perfume?

  [Walks off] 

  Sabrina Spellman : Okay, enough. Nothing is worth this. I don't care what happens to me.

  [Forces herself away from Libby, breaking the spell; there is an explosion] 

  Sabrina Spellman : Libby! Oh, no!

  [Picks up box] 

  Sabrina Spellman : I turned her into a puzzle!

  [Reading box] 

  Sabrina Spellman : For ages three and up?

• Zelda Spellman : [Sabrina has shown her aunts the Libby puzzle]  Sabrina, did you blow up a mortal?

  Sabrina Spellman : She started it!

• Zelda Spellman : Is that all there is?

  Sabrina Spellman : [Some pieces of Libby are missing]  Box is empty, how can we be missing pieces?

  Quizmaster Albert : Didn't you read the fine print?

  [Hands the box over to Sabrina] 

  Sabrina Spellman : [Reading box]  Some pieces not included in box? What a rip-off!

  Quizmaster Albert : I guess you didn't see this either.

  [Gives Sabrina an hourglass] 

  Quizmaster Albert : Now if you don't find the missing pieces and put them in before the sand runs out, Libby will be a puzzle forever.

  Sabrina Spellman : What?

  Hilda Spellman : Boy! In the final analysis, the Libby puzzle isn't much fun, is it?

• Sabrina Spellman : [Sabrina and the Quizmaster are searching the float for pieces of the Libby puzzle; Harvey appears from beneath the float]  Argh! Harvey! Have you met my friend...

  Quizmaster Albert : Invisible!

  Sabrina Spellman : My friend Suzie? Remind me to introduce you sometime! By the way, you didn't happen to see any jigsaw puzzle pieces under there, did you?

  Harvey Kinkle : No, but to tell you the truth, I was taking a nap. There's something really soothing about being under an engine. But I don't know what it is.

  Quizmaster Albert : The fumes?

  Sabrina Spellman : Sssshhhhh - sure gotta go!

  [Runs off, giggling] 

• Mrs. Chessler : [Libby's bedroom is a mess because of Sabrina and Quizmaster's frantic search] 

  [From outside the bedroom door, knocking] 

  Mrs. Chessler : Is everything okay?

  Sabrina Spellman : Oh, no, the room.

  [Quizmaster snaps his fingers and the room is instantaneously tidy] 

  Mrs. Chessler : [Enters the room]  Did you find that book?

  Sabrina Spellman : Just now.

  [Quizmaster zaps a book into Sabrina's hands] 

  Sabrina Spellman : And here it is!

  [Chuckles] 

  Mrs. Chessler : Good! Do you wanna stay and see Libby? You can wait in the garage.

  Quizmaster Albert : Don't do it, she'll turn on the car.

• Sabrina Spellman : [Sabrina thinks the puzzle is complete]  Oh, no, there's still a piece missing!

  [Looks at the hourglass] 

  Sabrina Spellman : And time just ran out!

  Quizmaster Albert : Don't worry. That piece doesn't exist yet. It's Libby's compassion for others. And you have to gradually fill that space by showing compassion for Libby, even when she doesn't show it for you. In other words, learn to work together?

  Sabrina Spellman : I get it.

  Quizmaster Albert : Mmhm.

  Sabrina Spellman : And by the way, could this lesson be any more heavy handed?

  Quizmaster Albert : Well, I could've been behind a pulpit! See ya.

  [Disappears; the Libby puzzles turns into Libby herself] 

  Libby Chessler : What... is going on? What am I doing here?

  Sabrina Spellman : Oh, you just came by to see if I needed a ride. I don't.

  Libby Chessler : I would not! I'm getting out of here.

  Sabrina Spellman : Uh, wait, Libby. Are you okay?

  Libby Chessler : I'm fine. Once again, weirdness reigns whenever Sa-freakna's around.

  [Leaves] 

  Sabrina Spellman : Oh, yeah. Sympathy for Libby. Piece of cake!

• Sabrina Spellman : [Trying to be nice]  You know, Libby, I have to admit, your side of the float is looking pretty good.

  Libby Chessler : I'm glad you're willing to state the obvious.

  Sabrina Spellman : Oh, well, I... I'm going to accept that as a compliment.

  Libby Chessler : Then you could use a dictionary!

• Zelda Spellman : Sabrina, I don't think I told you this, but, in my opinion, your Democracy Daze float was the best.

  Sabrina Spellman : Thanks! It did turn out great.

  Zelda Spellman : It's going to stand as a monument to your creative talent and democratic spirit.

  Sabrina Spellman : Not really. When we got back to the school, the engine Harvey'd been working on blew up, and the whole thing burned to the ground.

  Hilda Spellman : Ever reminding us that democracy is a fragile thing.

• Sabrina Spellman : [the Quizmaster's spell has made it impossible for Sabrina to be apart from Libby]  Where are you going?

  Libby Chessler : To cheerleading practice?

  [Raises pom-poms] 

  Libby Chessler : Ready? Get lost!

  Sabrina Spellman : Hey, you know that would make a really good story for the school paper? A day in the life of a cheerleader!

  Libby Chessler : But, you despise cheerleaders. And cheerleaders despise you.

  Sabrina Spellman : You're afraid I'll write a puff piece, aren't you?

  [Libby walks away, and Sabrina is pulled along behind her] 

  Sabrina Spellman : Well, look, don't run!

• Mrs. Chessler : [On the phone]  I don't care. I don't want Marge in my Bridge club. She's a kook.

  [Doorbell rings] 

  Mrs. Chessler : Have you seen what she calls furniture? Ew!

  [Doorbell rings again] 

  Mrs. Chessler : Hold on.

  [Opens front door] 

  Sabrina Spellman : [Sabrina and Quizmaster are at the door; he is invisible to Mrs. Chessler]  Mrs. Chessler?

  Mrs. Chessler : Yes.

  Sabrina Spellman : Hi, I'm Sabrina. I'm a... friend of Libby's? And, uh, I left a book here that I came to pick up that time when... you... weren't here.

  Mrs. Chessler : Mmhm, mmhm!

  [Waves her in impatiently, continues talking on the phone] 

  Mrs. Chessler : I don't care. I don't want Marge in my house. You're not exactly on my A-list either. Kook.

  Sabrina Spellman : I can see where Libby gets her meanness from.

  Quizmaster Albert : Exactly. And I believe that would be another piece to the puzzle.

  [Points at puzzle piece which has appeared, stuck on Mrs. Chessler's back] 

  Mrs. Chessler : [Still on the phone]  Are you gonna cry? Because I'll hang up.

  Sabrina Spellman : [Sabrina pulls puzzle piece off Mrs. Chessler's back, she turns round]  Oh, I was just reminding you that we're... I'm still here. I'll just go get that book now.

• Sabrina Spellman : [Still trying to be nice]  Libby, um, I could use some help with my crêpe paper.

  Libby Chessler : I have a box of matches?

  Sabrina Spellman : [Knowing about Libby's love for her Grandmother]  But it's just that I wanted to get done this weekend, so I could, uh, visit my Grandma.

  Libby Chessler : Oh.

  [pauses] 

  Libby Chessler : Well. I would hate for part of the float to look like you did it.

  [Rolls eyes] 

  Libby Chessler : Okay, I'll help.

  Sabrina Spellman : Thanks! You know, Libby, sometimes you're a real puzzle.

  Libby Chessler : No talking!