- Hilda Rumpole: I want you to pull up your socks. That's what I want, and if you don't... well... it's quite likely you might spend your old age alone!
- Horace Rumpole: [mumbling to himself] Promises, promises.
- Hilda Rumpole: What did you say?
- Horace Rumpole: 'Miss you, miss you, Hilda,' I said.
- Samuel 'Soapy Sam' Ballard, Q.C.: His marriage is on the rocks, Rumpole, and when a fellow's marriage is on the rocks, he can't always be trusted with a cheque.
- Claude Erskine-Brown: Indeed.
- Horace Rumpole: Oh, really? How's your marriage, Ballard?
- Samuel 'Soapy Sam' Ballard, Q.C.: Well, you know perfectly well, Rumpole, I'm a bachelor.
- Horace Rumpole: Then aren't you in the position of a lifelong vegetarian giving us your recipe for steak and kidney pie?
- Horace Rumpole: My lord, may I make a suggestion?
- Judge Gerald Graves: What is it?
- Horace Rumpole: May I suggest that your lordship sits quietly and allows me to develop the defense.
- Judge Gerald Graves: Mr. Rumpole, may I ask where these questions are leading?
- Horace Rumpole: I hope, my lord, to the truth.
- [Hector Vellacott tells Rumpole that Sir Christopher Japhet has disappeared, the day after Rumpole accused him in court of being responsible for the insider dealing]
- Hector Vellacott Q.C.: The judge is not going to like it.
- Horace Rumpole: Oh don't worry about him, old darling. The shock will probably bring him back to life.
- [Fred Timpson consults Rumpole]
- Fred Timson: It's not me I'm worried about, Mr Rumpole. Young Nigel,
- Horace Rumpole: Nigel, I don't think we've met professionally.
- Fred Timson: That's Cousin Andy's lad what went into the City. Works cheek by jowl with them lads for Eton and Harrow College.
- Horace Rumpole: And this prodigy is in some sort of trouble, is he?
- Fred Timson: Wouldn't mind *his* trouble. Runs around in an F-reg Porsche, girlfriend the boss's daughter.
- Horace Rumpole: What can I do to help him?
- Fred Timson: Well he's got himself arrested. Fraud Squad.
- Horace Rumpole: Ah! So he hasn't let down the honour of the Timsons after all.
- Horace Rumpole: It seems you know Sir Christopher Japhet's daughter.
- Nigel Timson: We've been going out together for about six months. We make up a dink.
- Horace Rumpole: A dink. Do translate.
- Nigel Timson: Double income, no kids. It's what we call it.
- Horace Rumpole: How quaint.
- Nigel Timson: Now it seems I'm a YID - young indictable dealer.
- [laughs nervously]
- Nigel Timson: It's not really very funny, is it?
- Horace Rumpole: [to Mr Bernard, Nigel Timson's solicitor] We've got to start learning a new language - do you you realise that, Mr Bernard. You can forget about tea-leaves and shooters. We're in a strange new world of DINKs, dawn raids and Chinese walls. Doesn't it make you a bit nostalgic for the simple old days when you just smashed a window, grabbed some loot and ran? The world's changed: God knows how we're going to get used to it.