- Canon Timothy Donkin: Well, I'm a married man, Uncle Horace.
- Horace Rumpole: Well, of course, it makes it easier to commit adultery if you're married, doesn't it?
- [laughs]
- Samuel 'Soapy Sam' Ballard Q.C.: I believe it is the first time in our long history, Rumpole, that these chambers have contained... a chancellor!
- [Rumpole is so shocked, he sits down]
- Samuel 'Soapy Sam' Ballard Q.C.: Yes, Rumpole, unworthy as I am.
- Horace Rumpole: [regaining his composure] Well, that's the understatement of the year!
- Horace Rumpole: I happen to have a good deal of faith.
- Samuel 'Soapy Sam' Ballard Q.C.: Yes, in what precisely?
- Horace Rumpole: The health-giving qualities of claret, of course, the presumption of innocence, and not having to clock into chambers in the morning.
- Hilda Rumpole: [as Rumpole enters the house] Is that you, Rumpole?
- Horace Rumpole: No, it's the village blacksmith come to crown you Queen of the May!
- Hilda Rumpole: [referring to her nephew] He's quite a big shot in the cathedral. They've made him a canon.
- Horace Rumpole: Is that a funny, Hilda?
- Horace Rumpole: There is not a court in Heaven or Earth, Tim, where Horace Rumpole is not ready and willing to appear. On the Day of Judgment I shall probably be up on my hind legs putting a few impertinent questions to the prosecution.
- [Frank Marlin is telling Rumpole the names of the canon's Six Accusers who want to unfrock him. He points out a woman with a very severe expression]
- Frank Marlin: Mrs Elphick, Chairman of the Bench.
- Horace Rumpole: She looks like a warm advocate for hanging for an un-renewed dog-licence.