Rumpole of the Bailey (TV Series)

Rumpole and the Age of Miracles (1988)

Leo McKern: Horace Rumpole

Quotes 

• Canon Timothy Donkin : Well, I'm a married man, Uncle Horace.

  Horace Rumpole : Well, of course, it makes it easier to commit adultery if you're married, doesn't it?

  [laughs] 

• Samuel 'Soapy Sam' Ballard Q.C. : I believe it is the first time in our long history, Rumpole, that these chambers have contained... a chancellor!

  [Rumpole is so shocked, he sits down] 

  Samuel 'Soapy Sam' Ballard Q.C. : Yes, Rumpole, unworthy as I am.

  Horace Rumpole : [regaining his composure]  Well, that's the understatement of the year!

• Horace Rumpole : I happen to have a good deal of faith.

  Samuel 'Soapy Sam' Ballard Q.C. : Yes, in what precisely?

  Horace Rumpole : The health-giving qualities of claret, of course, the presumption of innocence, and not having to clock into chambers in the morning.

• Hilda Rumpole : [as Rumpole enters the house]  Is that you, Rumpole?

  Horace Rumpole : No, it's the village blacksmith come to crown you Queen of the May!

• Hilda Rumpole : [referring to her nephew]  He's quite a big shot in the cathedral. They've made him a canon.

  Horace Rumpole : Is that a funny, Hilda?

• Horace Rumpole : There is not a court in Heaven or Earth, Tim, where Horace Rumpole is not ready and willing to appear. On the Day of Judgment I shall probably be up on my hind legs putting a few impertinent questions to the prosecution.

• Horace Rumpole : The food here is like my jokes - not always in the best of taste.

• [Frank Marlin is telling Rumpole the names of the canon's Six Accusers who want to unfrock him. He points out a woman with a very severe expression] 

  Frank Marlin : Mrs Elphick, Chairman of the Bench.

  Horace Rumpole : She looks like a warm advocate for hanging for an un-renewed dog-licence.