- Professor Julius Kramer: The learned judge seemed to regard you as a senior citizen.
- Horace Rumpole: I'm not all that senior,
- Horace Rumpole: [as an aside] and he's not all that learned.
- Mr. Glassworth: [referring to life in prison] Do they still have slopping out?
- Horace Rumpole: Yes, I'm afraid they do.
- Mr. Glassworth: I spent my life in the acquisition of beautiful objects.
- Horace Rumpole: [sarcastically to his instructing solicitor] I suppose that's what the three years were for!
- Mr. Glassworth: Slopping out! How could I live through it? And the sickening sexual advances of beefy warders.
- Horace Rumpole: [muttering] Oh, I wouldn't count on that, old darling.
- Mr. Glassworth: What did you say?
- Horace Rumpole: Oh, nothing.
- Hilda Rumpole: You don't want to die in harness, do you? You remember poor old Daddy died in harness, didn't he?
- Horace Rumpole: [sarcastically] Oh, really? I thought he died in the Tunbridge General Hospital.