- Jo Anne Worley: Boris and I are doing beautifully in our touch typing course. Next week we get to the typing!
- Pamela Rodgers: Byron, I wore a bikini to the beach yesterday and everybody was starring at me.
- Byron Gilliam: What did you do?
- Pamela Rodgers: I just shrugged it off.
- Goldie Hawn: I've had twenty-three accidents in the last two days. Boy, there are lots of crazy drivers around here.
- Ruth Buzzi: Last night on the freeway I heard that awful sound: pssssst. Oh, I knew I had a flat. It was terrible! Did you ever try to blow up a bra during rush hour?
- Alan Sues: Box!
- Ruth Buzzi: Lunch!
- Announcer: And now, the same message, backwards.
- Ruth Buzzi: [back of the head is shown] Lunch!
- Alan Sues: Box!
- [bursts out laughing]
- Jo Anne Worley: Last night I was arrested in Burbank for driving with my top down. On a bicycle. Sustained. Well... I still think that policeman took the long way to headquarters.
- Teresa Graves: You know, I was thinking... if Engelbert Humperdinck fell and hurt himself all over, he'd be a lumpy, humpy, grumpy, bumpy, rumpy, Humpydinck.
- Jo Anne Worley: No, no, that's not Humpy, that's hum-hum-hum-hummmpy!