- Jackie Harris: See, I told you that amnio wouldn't be that bad.
- Roseanne Conner: Yeah, they stick a needle in my stomach and suck out a bunch of goo. I want to come back tomorrow and see if they can do the same for my butt.
- Becky Conner-Healy: I can't believe abortion used to be illegal. Like what if I was one of those girls who got pregnant in high school?
- Roseanne Conner: Yeah, you might've had to drop out and marry some loser.
- Roseanne Conner: [joining the protesters] Hey ho hey ho! Life begins when *we* say so!
- Protester: Are you with us?
- Roseanne Conner: Yeah, we're from the head office. I'm Enid, and this is Jackie.
- Jackie Harris: Now now, Enid, you can give them my real name. I'm Roseanne.
- Roseanne Conner: [seeing Nana Mary's new husband] So uh, who's the looker?
- Beverly Harris: This is Joe, that's all she tells me, just Joe.
- Roseanne Conner: Hey Joe, whaddaya know?
- Nana Mary: Now he doesn't hear so well, Rosey, but that's the price you pay for defending your country against the Kaiser.
- Dan Conner: Hey Roseanne, isn't there a phone call you wanted to make before it gets too late?
- Roseanne Conner: Oh yeah.
- [to Nana Mary]
- Roseanne Conner: You know the holidays are the busiest times for us phone sex girls.
- Nana Mary: I don't need a sweater, Roseanne, I brought my own special Schnapps. Here, you want a bite?
- Becky Conner-Healy: She can't, Nana Mary, she's pregnant.
- Nana Mary: Oh come on, my goodness, it's not like the fetus had to drive somewhere.
- Jackie Harris: You had two abortions, Nana Mary? That must've been so hard.
- Nana Mary: Well it was pretty tough in those days, the laws were very strict. I had to go to some terrible place way out on the south side of Chicago. That was the first time so the second time I went to Mexico... or was that to get wool?
- Beverly Harris: Now what if I'd decided to have an abortion with you, Roseanne? Or your sister? What would've happened then?
- Roseanne Conner: Would you like me to tell you, Mom? Maybe you wouldn't have had to marry some guy you didn't love and you would've had a happy and fulfilling life. Wouldn't that be an abomination?
- Beverly Harris: Yes it would, Roseanne, because I know the difference between right and wrong. And abortion is wrong.
- Roseanne Conner: Well thank you for giving us all the truth, mother. I've always wondered what that red phone was doing in your apartment with the word GOD on it.
- Roseanne Conner: You know, I always thought I could have an abortion, but now I just, I don't think I can. Part of me would always wonder what the kid was going to turn out to be.
- Dan Conner: I thought we decided that if there was a serious problem, that we would deal with it, we talked about this.
- Roseanne Conner: Yeah but everything's different now.
- Dan Conner: Why?
- Roseanne Conner: Because I'm pregnant.
- Dan Conner: So you're saying you want to have this baby, no matter what?
- Roseanne Conner: No, I'm just saying this is a much more complicated situation than I ever thought it would be.
- Beverly Harris: So now dinner's been interrupted. I mean, will nothing go right this year?
- Nana Mary: Oh stop bellyaching, Beverly! All you do is complain! Try to think of one thing you can be grateful for this year.
- Beverly Harris: Yes, I'm grateful for such a sensitive mother who always supports me and nurtures me and never treats me like dirt beneath her feet!
- Nana Mary: There you go, you thought of it!
- Nana Mary: You know, I had two abortions when I was young.
- Beverly Harris: Mother! You what?
- Nana Mary: Yeah.