Roseanne (TV Series)
Halloween - The Final Chapter (1995)
Roseanne Barr: Roseanne Conner
Photos
Quotes
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Dan Conner : [during a seance, gets up and starts singing] Well since my baby left me, I found a new place to dwell.
Roseanne Conner : Oh it's Elvis! Elvis, Lisa Marie married Michael Jackson.
[Dan hits himself in the head with a frying pan]
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Roseanne Conner : [grabs the syrup bottle and comes up behind Jackie] Remember me, Jackie?
Jackie Harris : [look of terror] Not Mrs. Butterworth... please not Mrs. Butterworth.
Roseanne Conner : Remember how your sister Roseanne told you how I came to life at night in the cupboard? Remember how I would chase you around even though I have no legs? Well I'm back and I just want one more sticky kiss!
[Jackie screams]
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Roseanne Conner : [to Jerry Garcia] I hope I see you later, I mean, a *lot* later.
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Roseanne Conner : [about a kid dressed as a lawyer] That's the scariest costume all night.
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David Healy : You should be giving children the stuff their bodies need.
[gets fruit from the kitchen]
Roseanne Conner : What the hell is that?
Dan Conner : Wait a minute, honey, I've seen this before, it's food that doesn't come in a wrapper.
Roseanne Conner : That's unsanitary.
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Roseanne Conner : What is a refrigerator, a pool side dressing room, and Ed McMahon?
Ed McMahon : A refrigerator, a pool side dressing room, and Ed McMahon.
Roseanne Conner : What is an Amana, a cabana, and a famous second banana?
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Trick or Treater : [to the Connors] You are nice nice nice. Thanks, Happy Halloween!
Roseanne Conner : I wish I had a daughter like her.
Dan Conner : Just wasn't in the cards, hon.
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Jerry Garcia : I have a message for you.
Roseanne Conner : From God?
Jerry Garcia : No, from me.
Roseanne Conner : Oh, well, that's okay too.
Jerry Garcia : The message is what we need is magic, and bliss, and myth, and celebration, and religion. We need spiritual connection to each other.
Roseanne Conner : Well, that's great, thanks, Jerry.
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Roseanne Conner : [to the ouija board] When am I going to have my baby?
[planchette moves]
Roseanne Conner : N...
Jackie Harris : November!
Roseanne Conner : O... W...
Jackie Harris : Nowvember, you're having it in Nowvember.
Roseanne Conner : No Jackie... I'm having it, now!
[screams]
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Roseanne Conner : [after the birth] I didn't call you any horrible names back there, did I?
Dan Conner : No more than usual.
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David Healy : [going through the candy bowl] This is all sugar in here.
Roseanne Conner : Not true, there're chemicals too.