Photos
Quotes
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Jackie Harris : Roseanne, do you remember Mrs. Osmand?
Roseanne Conner : Oh yeah, she was scary.
Becky Conner : Who's Mrs. Osmand?
Jackie Harris : Oh she was this mad woman over on Elm Ridge who had this black haggy hair and used to dress up like a vampire and jump out at us.
Roseanne Conner : Too bad she never did it on Halloween.
Jackie Harris : Hey sis, didn't she wind up in jail for the criminally insane?
Roseanne Conner : Yeah, and I think I read somewhere that she just got released.
Darlene Conner : Do you think she'll come back to Lanford?
Roseanne Conner : If she's truly insane she will.
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Becky Conner : Dad, do you remember some psycho named Mrs. Osmand?
Dan Conner : Yeah, didn't she have a couple of hits in the 70s?
Roseanne Conner : No Dan, you remember the one they took away.
Dan Conner : Oh yeah, she was a real psycho, wasn't she always trying to eat her face?
Roseanne Conner : That was when there was still hope. But you remember what happened after that.
Dan Conner : Oh yeah, who could forget? She uh...
Darlene Conner : Escaped.
Dan Conner : Yeah.
Becky Conner : No they didn't. You said they let her out.
Roseanne Conner : Oh, well we just didn't want to scare you.
Jackie Harris : Yeah, you know there's an APB out on her.
Dan Conner : Is that right?
Roseanne Conner : Dan, there's a woman in our backyard!
Dan Conner : [everybody goes to the back door] She's hiding behind the garage, I better go out there.
Roseanne Conner : No, Dan, no!
Darlene Conner : Where'd she go? Where'd she go?
Roseanne Conner , Dan Conner , Jackie Harris : GOTCHA!
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Jackie Harris : What're you guys gonna be?
Becky Conner : Oooooh, maybe I'll be Wonder Woman.
Darlene Conner : And I can be Casper the friendly ghost!
Roseanne Conner : Well I guess you two are just tooooo mature to go trick or treating.
Darlene Conner : Besides, if I want candy I'll just go through your purse.
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Becky Conner : [Darlene dribbles blood into Becky's cereal] Darlene!
Darlene Conner : They cut out my tongue.
Becky Conner : You are so gross!
Roseanne Conner : Gross? You're disgusting and I am proud to be your mommy! Now clean up this blood and finish your breakfast.
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Roseanne Conner : Halloween is the one night of the entire year when the veil is lifted between the living and the dead and the dead return from hell to walk the earth and we have to dress up like ghosts and goblins and stuff to fake out the evil spirits or else they might carry us back to hell with them.
Becky Conner : So, why do the dead people come back?
Roseanne Conner : For the candy! There's no chocolate in hell That's why it's hell.