Red Dwarf (TV Series)

Stasis Leak (1988)

Craig Charles: Lister

Photos 

Quotes 

• The Cat : [to Rimmer]  What *is* it?

  Rimmer : It's a rent in the space-time continuum.

  The Cat : [to Lister]  What *is* it?

  Lister : The stasis room freezes time, you know, makes time stand still. So whenever you have a leak, it must preserve whatever it's leaked into, and it's leaked into this room.

  The Cat : [to Rimmer]  What *is* it?

  Rimmer : It's singularity, a point in the Universe where the normal laws of space and time don't apply.

  The Cat : [to Lister]  What *is* it?

  Lister : It's a hole back into the past.

  The Cat : Oh, a magic door! Well, why didn't you say?

• Arnold Rimmer (alive) : On the morning of Febuary the 26th, at 0800 hrs, did engage in conversation with second technician Rimmer, Arnold J...

  Captain Frank Hollister : For crying out loud, Rimmer!

  Arnold Rimmer (alive) : - the outcome of which was a proposal by the aforementioned Lister to the aforementioned Rimmer to cook him breakfast.

  Captain Frank Hollister : Okay, I'm getting the picture.

  Arnold Rimmer (alive) : Breakfast comprised of two eggs, three rashers of bacon, a grilled tomato, two sausages, a small portion of fried potatoes... and a large quantity of _mushrooms_. Having consumed this repast, second technician Rimmer, Arnold J. experienced what can only be described as a voyage to trip-out city. To whit, a major hallucinogenic fit.

  Captain Frank Hollister : Lister, is this true?

  Lister : No, sir. I'm sure it was only one egg.

  Arnold Rimmer (alive) : The aforementioned Rimmer, to whit, me, then attended inspection parade. He was totally naked except for a pair of mock-leather driving gloves and some blue swimming goggles. Under the influence of this psychadelic breakfast he went on to attack two senior officers, believing them to be giraffes who were armed and dangerous.

• Holly : I was in love once. A Sinclair ZX81. People said, no, Holly, she's not for you. She's cheap, she's stupid and she wouldn't load, well, not for me anyway.

  Lister : What are you trying to say, Hol?

  Holly : What I'm saying, Dave is, it's better to have loved and lost than to listen to an album by Olivia Newton-John.

  The Cat : Why's that?

  Holly : Anything's better than to listen to an album by Olivia Newton-John.

• Lister : Why do women always leave me for total smeg-heads? Why do they leave me for guys wear turtle-neck sweaters and smoke a pipe, I mean, natural yogurt eaters? Reliable, sensible, dependable and lots of other words that end in "ible." I bet he's obsessed with house prices and spends half his life in antique fairs looking for bargains and drinking wine. It's never beer, is it? It's always wine. "What do you want on your Cornflakes, darling?" "Oh, I'll have some wine, please." Smeg!

• Lister : Where are you coming from, Rimmer? You don't even like me!

  Rimmer : Don't I?

  Lister : No.

  Rimmer : Fine.

  [He sits silently, fuming] 

  Lister : [uncertainly]  You don't, though, do you? You don't even like me.

  Rimmer : That's what you think, is it?

  Lister : Yeah.

  Rimmer : [after a pause]  I will tell you something that will probably stun you rigid.

  Lister : What?

  Rimmer : You're right, I don't like you.