- The Cat: [on seeing the T-Rex] There's an old cat saying which has particular relevance here. It goes something like this, "We are all gonna die."
- [about Baxter]
- Rimmer: Look at him. The big lug. I'd hate to clean the bath out after him. He'd need a sander to get rid of the tide mark and a leaf vac to hoover the hair.
- Rimmer: Permission to snigger, sir.
- Captain Frank Hollister: Permission - denied.
- Rimmer: We might have to snigger anyway, sir.
- [Lister and Rimmer snigger between themselves]
- Captain Hollister: I understand you played an idiotic prank on a senior and much-respected officer yesterday.
- Rimmer: That is just not true sir. We played the prank on Mr. Ackerman, sir.
- Rimmer: [Lister nudges him] Oh, I see!
- Rimmer: Killcrazy's insane. He's always coming up with strange ideas. He reckons that if you go to the loo in a plane, it drops straight out. And that's why they don't let you go to the loo while the plane's still standing on the runway... for fear of skid starts.
- Lister: He's probably right.
- Rimmer: Course he isn't.
- Lister: Why else wouldn't they let you go, then?
- Rimmer: I don't know. They're probably helping you break up your journey. If they don't you go to the loo first off, you'll have nothing to do after you've eaten your cheese.
- Lister: No, Killcrazy's probably right. That's why houses on the flight path are always so cheap.
- Rimmer: 'Cos of all the flushing planes?
- Lister: Yeah. Well, think about it. You can't sunbathe, you can't have a barbecue, and every time you go out, you have to have a washable hat and leg it to your car.
- Rimmer: It's the noise. That's why houses on the flight path are always so cheap; 'cos of the noise.
- Lister: The noise?
- Rimmer: Yeah.
- Lister: They're half a mile up. You'll never be able to hear people in the loo from that distance. Not unless you are like my Uncle Dan.
- Captain Frank Hollister: Seven hours. Do you know how long that is? I couldn't remove my shorts till after midnight. When I wanted to leak I had to do a handstand on the toilet seat! I stopped the lift doors from closing, I was even catching a lift!