- Lister: You ever see "The Flintstones"?
- The Cat: Sure.
- Lister: Do you think Wilma's sexy?
- The Cat: Wilma Flintstone?
- Lister: Maybe we've been alone in deep space too long but every time I see that show, her body drives me crazy. Is it me?
- The Cat: I think, in all probability, Wilma Flintstone is the most desirable woman who ever lived.
- Lister: That's good, I thought I was going strange.
- The Cat: She's incredible.
- Lister: What do you think of Betty?
- The Cat: Betty Rubble? Well, I would go with Betty... but I'd be thinking of Wilma.
- Lister: This is crazy. Why are we talking about going to bed with Wilma Flintstone?
- The Cat: You're right. We're nuts. This is an insane conversation.
- Lister: She'll never leave Fred and we know it.
- The Cat: [about Rimmer and Kryten] We ain't gonna find them. They're gone, buddy. But look on the bright side - They're gone, buddy!
- Rimmer: What jobs are there in a backwards reality for a dead hologram and an android with a head shaped like a novelty condom?
- Lister: [Lister and the Cat have just arrived in the Backwards universe; trying to communicate with the Truck Driver] No, sorry, mate, we don't speak Bulgarian, you speak English?
- Truck Driver: [in Backwards talk] Sorry, I'm English, are you Bulgarians?
- Kryten: [Starbug has crashed underwater during Kryten's test] I suppose you're going to fail me for this.
- Lister: Look at the flip side of the coin, its not all good. Take someone, like say, Saint Francis of Assisi. In this universe he's a petty-minded little sadist who goes round maiming small animals! Or Santa Claus, what a bastard!
- Rimmer: Eh?
- Lister: He's just a big fat git who sneaks down chimneys and steals all the kids' favourite toys!
- Rimmer: Once you get over the initial shock, things actually make a lot more sense this way round. There's no death here. You start off dead, you have a funeral, then you come to life. As each year passes, you get younger and younger until you become a newborn baby. Then you go back inside your mother, who goes back inside her mother, and so on, until eventually we all become one glorious whole.
- Lister: Rimmer, you already are one glorious hole.
- Kryten: We want to stay.
- Lister: We can't stay. Look, I'm 25 now. In 10 years time I'll be 15! I'll have to go through puberty again, backwards!
- The Cat: Imagine that. Your gajimbas will suddenly rise back into your body and the next thing you know, you're singing soprano in the school choir!
- Lister: And worse than that, in 25 years I'll be a little sperm, swimming around in somebody's testicles! I mean, pardon me, but that's just not how I saw my future.
- Rimmer: I'm telling you, things are better this way. It's our universe that's the wrong way round.
- Kryten: Take war. War is a wonderful thing here. In 50 years time, the Second World War will start, backwards!
- The Cat: And that's a good thing?
- Kryten: Millions of people will come to life. Hitler will retreat across Europe, liberate France and Poland, disband the Third Reich and bog off back to Austria.
- Kryten: There's no crime. The first night we were here, a mugger jumped us and forced £50 into my wallet at knifepoint!
- [they're about to leave the backwards version of Earth]
- Rimmer: Where's the Cat?
- Lister: He won't be long, he's, you know, in the bushes.
- [a few moments later Rimmer and Lister realise what's going to happen]
- Lister: We've got to stop him!
- [the Cat pops up from the bushes with a disgusted look on his face. He staggers over to them]
- The Cat: Don't ask.