Red Dwarf (TV Series)

Backwards (1989)

Robert Llewellyn: Kryten

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Kryten is taking a flying lesson on Starbug] 

  Kryten : I think there's something wrong with the gearbox. The thing is, I learned how to fly in Starbug 2. I'm not used to the controls on Starbug 1.

  Rimmer : They're exactly the same.

  Kryten : Yes. That's the problem.

• Kryten : [Starbug has crashed underwater during Kryten's test]  I suppose you're going to fail me for this.

• Kryten : If people see my face, what are they going to think?

  Rimmer : Tell them you had an accident. Tell them you took your car to the crusher's and forget to get out.

• Kryten : Engage autopilot.

  Holly : Autopilot engaged. Well, I say autopilot, it's not really autopilot, is it? It's me, it's muggins here who has to do it.

• Rimmer : You're travelling half the speed of light, what is the stopping distance?

  Kryten : 4 years, 3 months.

  Rimmer : And the thinking time?

  Kryten : A fortnight.

• Kryten : We want to stay.

  Lister : We can't stay. Look, I'm 25 now. In 10 years time I'll be 15! I'll have to go through puberty again, backwards!

  The Cat : Imagine that. Your gajimbas will suddenly rise back into your body and the next thing you know, you're singing soprano in the school choir!

  Lister : And worse than that, in 25 years I'll be a little sperm, swimming around in somebody's testicles! I mean, pardon me, but that's just not how I saw my future.

• Rimmer : I'm telling you, things are better this way. It's our universe that's the wrong way round.

  Kryten : Take war. War is a wonderful thing here. In 50 years time, the Second World War will start, backwards!

  The Cat : And that's a good thing?

  Kryten : Millions of people will come to life. Hitler will retreat across Europe, liberate France and Poland, disband the Third Reich and bog off back to Austria.

• Kryten : There's no crime. The first night we were here, a mugger jumped us and forced £50 into my wallet at knifepoint!