- Michael Novotny: It was awful. All those dirty-minded old men, staring at me and pinching my ass.
- Emmett Honeycutt: It was fabulous! All those dirty old men staring at me and pinching my ass!
- Vic: Here, have some coconut cake.
- Jennifer Taylor: Oh, no thanks.
- Debbie: Vic made it himself.
- Vic: Yeah, it's my warm-up for Gus' birthday.
- Debbie: He used to be a pastry chef.
- Vic: Black bottoms were my specialty.
- [clears throat and glances over at Debbie]
- Debbie: [holds up hands in defense] I didn't say a word.
- Ted Schmidt: I mean, he fired me. Me - the hardest working most devoted employee he's got. And for what?
- Michael Novotny: Wanking to the web?
- Ted Schmidt: No, no, no, no, no. I wasn't wanking. I was watching - same as everybody else in that office. The only difference I wasn't watching what everybody else watches.
- Emmett Honeycutt: Straight sex.
- Ted Schmidt: Yeah, it's fine to salivate over some bimbo with boobs the size of flotation devices stuffing a zucchini up her twat. But god forbid you should see some guy with pecs of death squatting on a road teepee. Oh, then you're instantly out on your ass!
- Michael Novotny: That's discrimination on the workplace.